View Full Version : The New Suso?
Nigel, who works in accounting, is rumoured to have begun flirting quite heavily with the slightly overweight new temp who has only recently started working on the floor below us. Nigel has a lovely wife with whom he has spawned four young daughters in only four years of marriage - evidence of his rampant fertility - and his rumoured indiscretions have got me thinking . . . if he goes all the way with the slightly overweight temp, there's a very good chance it will be a rash and unprotected bunk-up in the stationary cupboard on the third floor. And, given Nigel's renowned fertility, there's every chance that the slightly overweight temp could be left with one in the oven, as they say.
Now, could this hypothetical fetus, this mere twinke in an eye, could it see out the gestation period and be healthily borne into this world of ours? If so, the odds would seem to suggest that Nigel is due a son. The only logical question which remains is this: could this hypothetical fetus represent the 'new Suso'? We can only live in hope . . . though I feel there is every chance, not least because I have Faith in Kenny.
Hope Nigel's wife is not reading this
No she isnt Ray, she's with me but dont tell Nigel! ;)
Hope Nigel's wife is not reading this
Can we try to keep this on topic. :mad:
No she isnt Ray, she's with me but dont tell Nigel! ;)
That's why your a happychap
I'm always making plans for Nigel.
Panic-Button
1-3-11, 19:19
Nigels fetus <3
Typical. Nobody's interested in Liverpool's future. :rolleyes: I cannot believe that nobody here has realised that by the time this hypothetical fetus might reach playing age (which will probably be around 15/16 if he's going to be as good as I think he might), Kenny will be gone and Rafa will more than likely be back in charge. I'm pretty excited.
Nigels fetus <3
He's the future.
Red-And-Proud
1-3-11, 19:22
As nigel will no doubt want nothing to do with child and the temp will want to be the new star on the 'biggest looser' the baby will be abandoned.Therefore the baby will be the new Bebe.
The BABY ??????????
" He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!!"
Nigel ?? thought the babys name was Brian?
As nigel will no doubt want nothing to do with child and the temp will want to be the new star on the 'biggest looser' the baby will be abandoned.Therefore the baby will be the new Bebe.
There's a guaranteed £7m whether he can play football or not then. Seems like a no-lose investment.
JOHN-HENRYS-HAMMER
1-3-11, 19:35
I hear Wengers already put a preemptive, hypothetical bid in for him. :mad:
Panic-Button
1-3-11, 19:41
I feel the fetus might crumple under the pressure you've placed on him.
I hear Wengers already put a preemptive, hypothetical bid in for him. :mad:
Wenger's already had a look at Nigel's hypothetical fetus and decided he lacks the requisite technique and innate fragility to play at Arsenal. However Nigel's eldest daughter - Sally, five - seems to have taken a shine to Ahmed in her class at school and Wenger is seriously interested in any potential child that results from this budding relationship. He's pretty excited about the prospect and the papers (and posters on various Arsenal internet forums) have already begun referring to this purely speculative child as the new 'Nigel's hypothetical fetus'. I wouldn't want to get roped into that bidding war and would rather develop Nigel's potential lad for free through our own academy. That strikes me as the common-sense approach.
Have you ever used a Bra as a catapult to fire two coconuts at pidgeons on your garage roof?
:D
Panic-Button
1-3-11, 19:42
I hear Wengers already put a preemptive, hypothetical bid in for him. :mad:
Source?
I'm not so sure how this ended in FD
I feel the fetus might crumple under the pressure you've placed on him.
If he's good enough, he's old enough.
Alcohomicide
1-3-11, 19:46
How's this for hypothetical?? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTjbFt-PRWA&feature=related)
I'm not so sure how this ended in FD
THE NEW SUSO!!! :scarf
How's this for hypothetical?? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTjbFt-PRWA&feature=related)
Good vid :)
SergioGeorgini
1-3-11, 19:52
Nigel's seed should be in the team now. He iz wel betta dan Lucas innit.
Alcohomicide
1-3-11, 19:53
Good vid :)
That United goal just hammers it home. Who knows what would have happened if they hadn't nicked that goal on that day. :\
THE NEW SUSO!!! :scarf
When you think about it, he technically has even more potential than Suso - and everyone else on our books - he is literally pure potential. You might laugh, but I don't think he's a million miles away from being considered for the first team. Coady, Sterling and Suso have all trained with them under Kenny this season, after all. :PN:
Nigel's seed should be in the team now. He iz wel betta dan Lucas innit.
Controversial, but difficult to produce a compelling argument against.
When you think about it, he technically has even more potential than Suso - and everyone else on our books - he is literally pure potential. You might laugh, but I don't think he's a million miles away from being considered for the first team. Coady, Sterling and Suso have all trained with them under Kenny this season, after all. :PN:
It's easy to get excited about Nigel's seed. I imagine he'll have a really powerful shot.
When he's born, no doubt he'll be dribbling all around players like Poulsen and Jovanovic.
Love it, hope he counts as homegrown!
maradona4liverpool
2-3-11, 14:00
So we have gone from knock off Nigel to knock up Nigel?
Are they related or even the same person?
So we have gone from knock off Nigel to knock up Nigel?
Are they related or even the same person?
It's been almost a whole 24 hours since Nigel's hypothetical fetus first began making his name. To be honest, I'm not sure if he's going to make it. Other twinkles-in-eyes are catching him up and overtaking him - just now at lunch I saw Barry from I.T. eyeing up Margaret who works in the canteen - so I think there's every chance that Nigel's purely speculative offspring could simply come to nothing; the 'new Pacheco'. I blame Hodgson for never giving him a fair crack of the whip.
i fear the fetus will turn out like a lot of young wonderkids, a lot of talk but in the end does not make the first team...
i believe this thread to be the result of growing unemployment numbers and also more people getting addicted to using forums from work. :P
Red-And-Proud
2-3-11, 14:18
It's been almost a whole 24 hours since Nigel's hypothetical fetus first began making his name. To be honest, I'm not sure if he's going to make it. Other twinkles-in-eyes are catching him up and overtaking him - just now at lunch I saw Barry from I.T. eyeing up Margaret who works in the canteen - so I think there's every chance that Nigel's purely speculative offspring could simply come to nothing; the 'new Pacheco'. I blame Hodgson for never giving him a fair crack of the whip.
I'm gutted, does anyone know how I can remove his name from my Liverpool top? £10 from Littlewoods...
maradona4liverpool
2-3-11, 14:20
I'm gutted, does anyone know how I can remove his name from my Liverpool top? £10 from Littlewoods...
School boy error there red..
I've had Fetus Put on mine that way I can't go wrong
i believe this thread to be the result of growing unemployment numbers and also more people getting addicted to using forums from work. :P
I think it's fair to blame mankind's initial shift from hunter-gatherer to agriculture; Blaise Pascal's postulation that nature is an infinite sphere whose centre is everywhere and whose circumference is nowhere; Jacques Lacan's observation that, 'a fictive tale even has the advantage of manifesting symbolic necessity more purely to the extent that we may believe its conception arbitrary'; Katie Price; Charles Babbage's ingenuity; Nietzsche's metaphysical slaying of God; Rinus Michel's football philosophy; Wallace Steven's second method of looking at a blackbird; Henry Ford; Bertrand Russell's seminal essay, entitled 'In Praise of Idleness'; Cherno Samba; Jorge Luis Borges's innate fear of mirrors and labyrinths, and, of course, Margaret Thatcher.
Sounds like an episode of Eastenders.
SergioGeorgini
2-3-11, 14:32
OMfG play him Kenny :mad::mad::mad:
Hes class and better than Lucas:mad: Arsenal played Fabregas at the same age ffs:mad:. Why cnat kenny? :mad:
Arsenal played Fabregas at the same age ffs:mad:
This. Repped.
Red-And-Proud
2-3-11, 14:40
School boy error there red..
I've had Fetus Put on mine that way I can't go wrong
I know I feel such a fool...I heard the baby was going to be named after the mothers favourite Indian restaurant (http://www.gerrardindiabazaar.com/restaurants.php?secid=2&catid=9)....
Going to look a right tool on match day now :FP:
Sounds like an episode of Eastenders.
Except more light-hearted and less depressing; even with Thatcher as the protagonist and Nietzsche having buried God's corpse at midnight under Arthur Fowler's memorial bench in the middle of the Square.
maradona4liverpool
2-3-11, 14:41
OMfG play him Kenny :mad::mad::mad:
Hes class and better than Lucas:mad: Arsenal played Fabregas at the same age ffs:mad:. Why cnat kenny? :mad:
He would have been a full international had rafa been here..
SergioGeorgini
2-3-11, 14:42
He would have been a full international had rafa been here..
As if. Rafa would pick lovechild Lucas over Xavi if he had the choice. :mad::mad:
Rafa out.
maradona4liverpool
2-3-11, 14:43
I know I feel such a fool...I heard the baby was going to be named after the mothers favourite Indian restaurant (http://www.gerrardindiabazaar.com/restaurants.php?secid=2&catid=9)....
Going to look a right tool on match day now :FP:
I know who look out for now at my next game.. You buy beers and I'll get the gerrards Indian...
As if. Rafa would pick lovechild Lucas over Xavi if he had the choice. :mad::mad:
Rafa out.
Rafa would have overpaid for him, played him out of position, then sold him (at a loss after falling out with him) in order to make his 'net spend' look marginally more palatable as people are no longer interested in league tables now that football has become a business.
SergioGeorgini
2-3-11, 14:49
Rafa would have overpaid for him, played him out of position, then sold him (at a loss after falling out with him) in order to make his 'net spend' look marginally more palatable as people are no longer interested in league tables now that football has become a business.
The foetus was probably Houllier's player anyway.
So let's summarize this eventful thread, you rate Suso, you want to see him play in the first team. Is that right?
Or maybe Nigel Winterburn's mistress is pregnant?
I can't tell really.
The foetus was probably Houllier's player anyway.
But a source tells me that Houllier had a vasectomy, so do one, WUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The foetus was probably Houllier's player anyway.
In all honesty, Nigel is more likely to discretely wine-and-dine the slightly overweight temp at a French restaurant than a Spanish one - so you're probably right.
maradona4liverpool
2-3-11, 14:53
As if. Rafa would pick lovechild Lucas over Xavi if he had the choice. :mad::mad:
Rafa out.
Wots he like in net? Apparently reina bloke is now well crap so he cnt do no worse surely?
Red-And-Proud
2-3-11, 14:53
But a source tells me that Houllier had a vasectomy, so do one, WUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Who is your source exactly, I find it odd you spend your time with him/her discussing Houlliers genitalia
So let's summarize this eventful thread, you rate Suso, you want to see him play in the first team. Is that right?
Or maybe Nigel Winterburn's mistress is pregnant?
I can't tell really.
reported for not staying on topic
Who is your source exactly, I find it odd you spend your time with him/her discussing Houlliers genitalia
Perfection is worth talking about, and Houllier's genitalia is perfection, well that's what my source says.
Wots he like in net? Apparently reina bloke is now well crap so he cnt do no worse surely?
he has better 'body language' than reina
for sure
reported for not staying on topic
Thanks for that. Perhaps if a few of us all report him we can get him removed from the forum.
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
reported for not staying on topic
I'll watch the cricket during my ban, so it's a win win situation for me.
Thanks for that. Perhaps if a few of us all report him we can get him removed from the forum.
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
lulz
lulz
Took his goal well enough, but should have been sent off.
Red-And-Proud
2-3-11, 14:59
Thanks for that. Perhaps if a few of us all report him we can get him removed from the forum.
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
Keith from Dublin
When all is said and done though, until Keith from Dublin hits the slightly overweight temp, I'm not going to get too excited...
Took his goal well enough, but should have been sent off.
Fine. This is not a democracy, so a few people reporting me for a none infringement isn't going to get me removed from the forums.
Secondly, as moderators we are all accountable for our decisions, just because we don't publicly get slapped across the wrist (which is what many of you want to see), does not mean we don't get questioned about it and learn from those mistakes, and yes, we do make mistakes.
After not being sent off, I have now completed my hat-trick.
Keith from Dublin
The issue is one of infinite geometric progression. Unless of course you are putting forward Keith as some sort of Aristotelian 'unmoved mover' - in which case, we already have our very own Robbie Fowler for this position.
Keith from Dublin
I have it on good authority that Keith's Danish is not so good, do it can't be him.
Fine. This is not a democracy, so a few people reporting me for a none infringement isn't going to get me removed from the forums.
Secondly, as moderators we are all accountable for our decisions, just because we don't publicly get slapped across the wrist (which is what many of you want to see), does not mean we don't get questioned about it and learn from those mistakes, and yes, we do make mistakes.
After not being sent off, I have now completed my hat-trick.
I thought you had failed to capitalise the initial 'L' and had accidentally capitalised the third letter 'i' - I wasn't aware that it too was merely a lower case 'L'.
I thought you had failed to capitalise the initial 'L' and had accidentally capitalised the third letter 'i' - I wasn't aware that it too was merely a lower case 'L'.
In certain countries that would be considered as treason.
In certain countries that would be considered as treason.
You've been reading Tim Mackintosh-Smith's Yemen: Travels in Dictionary Land again, haven't you? Will put that book down for five minutes and do some modding for a change? :rolleyes:
You've been reading Tim Mackintosh-Smith's Yemen: Travels in Dictionary Land again, haven't you? Will put that book down for five minutes and do some modding for a change? :rolleyes:
*Puts book down and does some modding*
I'm always making plans for Nigel.
Haha.
By the way guys, it's spelled "Foetus"
Haha.
By the way guys, it's spelled "Foetus"
And 'phoetus', and 'faetus', and 'fetus', and using various typographical ligatures of 'o' and 'e', and 'a' and 'e'. What's your point? Try to stay on topic.
And 'phoetus', and 'faetus', and 'fetus', and using various typographical ligatures of 'o' and 'e', and 'a' and 'e'. What's your point? Try to stay on topic.
English football team, English forum, English spelling.
It's a joke guys, don't worry.
English football team, English forum, English spelling.
I was using the Latin; the (British) English variation derives from a faulty translation of this original Latin - modern academics and medics use the term 'fetus'.
I'm speaking in earnest, ladies and gentlemen - please take this very seriously.
Panic-Button
2-3-11, 16:10
the fetus is great on Football manager. Come on Comoli!
Rex, you are on top form.
JOHN-HENRYS-HAMMER
2-3-11, 17:09
I'm not sure he's of Liverpool standard yet, surely its best if we loan him out to a Championship club for a season to see if he can develop a footballing brain. Also as he has no physical mass to speak of, is he not a bit light weight for the Prem? :confused:
SergioGeorgini
2-3-11, 17:13
Romanes Eunt Domus
Fine. This is not a democracy, so a few people reporting me for a none infringement isn't going to get me removed from the forums.
Secondly, as moderators we are all accountable for our decisions, just because we don't publicly get slapped across the wrist (which is what many of you want to see), does not mean we don't get questioned about it and learn from those mistakes, and yes, we do make mistakes.
After not being sent off, I have now completed my hat-trick.
down with this mod
the revolution will be forumed...the revolution will be forumed
maradona4liverpool
2-3-11, 17:34
I'm speaking in earnest, .
Is that a new language or is he the new sterling?
I was using the Latin; the (British) English variation derives from a faulty translation of this original Latin - modern academics and medics use the term 'fetus'.
I'm speaking in earnest, ladies and gentlemen - please take this very seriously.
Maximus Spermimus
Is that a new language or is he the new sterling?
The current Uruguay manager, Oscar Tabarez (aka 'El Maestro' - 'The Teacher'), has recently published a coaching manual entitled, 'The Importance of being Sterling: A Serious Coaching Manual for Trivial People'.
I think our Suarez would make a great manager and is in many ways the new Oscar Tabarez. I wouldn't be surprised if Kenny has seen this in him and has begun grooming him for the role.
JOHN-HENRYS-HAMMER
2-3-11, 17:48
Support you local sperm
My sperm bleeds red, mainly because of an underlying infection, but also because LFC is in my DNA! :IN:
GunDoggyIndian
2-3-11, 17:49
I have it on good authority that Keith's Danish is not so good, do it can't be him.
Keith can speak many languages, including one that no human ear has heard in aeons
maradona4liverpool
2-3-11, 17:52
The current Uruguay manager, Oscar Tabarez (aka 'El Maestro' - 'The Teacher'), has recently published a coaching manual entitled, 'The Importance of being Sterling: A Serious Coaching Manual for Trivial People'.
I think our Suarez would make a great manager and is in many ways the new Oscar Tabarez. I wouldn't be surprised if Kenny has seen this in him and has begun grooming him for the role.
I knew there was a reason why I loved kenny, I couldn't for life think why but this has triggered it.. Cheers Rex.. always thinking outside the box
My sperm bleeds red, mainly because of an underlying infection, but also because LFC is in my DNA! :IN:
underlying infection................This worries me
Keith can speak many languages, including one that no human ear has heard in aeons
Keith hears and see's all:)
GunDoggyIndian
2-3-11, 18:01
My sperm bleeds red, mainly because of an underlying infection, but also because LFC is in my DNA! :IN:
id stick with the LFC in the DNA line, other bit sounds scary, trust me!
I knew there was a reason why I loved kenny, I couldn't for life think why but this has triggered it.. Cheers Rex.. always thinking outside the box
No worries. I know a lot of people talk about Carra for the job, but if he really was in with a chance he'd have been made player-manager by now - certainly before Hodgson was in the job and probably even before Rafa took over. We have to be realistic and admit his chance has passed and he's never going to make it; I know he's a smashing lad and would die for this club, but he's simply not up to it and hasn't developed into the kind of manager we need. There's no great shame in it - Hamman, Mellor Le Tallec and Karl-Heinz Riedle all failed to turn into the great Liverpool managers that so many of us had hoped and in some cases expected them to.
If we really want to invest in the future, as Comolli and the new owners have suggested, we need to start looking to our academy to produce future managers. When we sign a young player of 12 or 13, we have to ask ourselves 'does this lad really have what it takes to manage this illustrious club to titles and trophies?' I think the Merseyside area is brimming with young lads with this kind of potential - I'm sure you could find dozens of teenagers in this forum alone who will readily tell you that they're more than up to the job. It's all about youth.
No worries. I know a lot of people talk about Carra for the job, but if he really was in with a chance he'd have been made player-manager by now - certainly before Hodgson was in the job and probably even before Rafa took over. We have to be realistic and admit his chance has passed and he's never going to make it; I know he's a smashing lad and would die for this club, but he's simply not up to it and hasn't developed into the kind of manager we need. There's no great shame in it - Hamman, Mellor Le Tallec and Karl-Heinz Riedle all failed to turn into the great Liverpool managers that so many of us had hoped and in some cases expected them to.
If we really want to invest in the future, as Comolli and the new owners have suggested, we need to start looking to our academy to produce future managers. When we sign a young player of 12 or 13, we have to ask ourselves 'does this lad really have what it takes to manage this illustrious club to titles and trophies?' I think the Merseyside area is brimming with young lads with this kind of potential - I'm sure you could find dozens of teenagers in this forum alone who will readily tell you that they're more than up to the job. It's all about youth.
daniel pachecho is the man/boy to do it
daniel pachecho is the man/boy to do it
I know there's been a lot of hype around him, but he hasn't even managed the Reserve team yet. I get a feeling his time has come and gone. To be honest, the writing was always on the wall - Barca have shown with Guardiola's appointment that they like to promote their managers from within, if Pacheco had any real potential they would have fought to keep him. Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if he pottered around here for a year or so - perhaps coaching a few U9's sessions - and ended up managing the likes of Murcia or Real Vallodolid when his contract expires here in 2014. Suso is much closer to replacing Kenny as things stand.
Can we sticky this thread? It's a great parody!
I know there's been a lot of hype around him, but he hasn't even managed the Reserve team yet. I get a feeling his time has come and gone. To be honest, the writing was always on the wall - Barca have shown with Guardiola's appointment that they like to promote their managers from within, if Pacheco had any real potential they would have fought to keep him. Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if he pottered around here for a year or so - perhaps coaching a few U9's sessions - and ended up managing the likes of Murcia or Real Vallodolid when his contract expires here in 2014. Suso is much closer to replacing Kenny as things stand.
they didn't fight to keep him because they had bojan in mind
why else do you think he isn't played?its because he is getting his badges
i have high hopes from pachecho...i just don't understand how ngog is ahead in the pecking order
they didn't fight to keep him because they had bojan in mind
why else do you think he isn't played?its because he is getting his badges
i have high hopes from pachecho...i just don't understand how ngog is ahead in the pecking order
I didn't even consider Bojan, good point. And the badges thing actually makes some sense, my nephew Sean recently said something about them allowing a 'foreign' lesbian join his boy scouts group in Woolton; initially I just thought it was another case of political correctness having gone mad, but now the penny's dropped.
I know what you mean about N'gog, at first people were all 'he's the new Tigana' and 'he's going to succeed where Houllier failed' - but I never bought it. He's simply not cut out for management, he's far too skinny - he doesn't even need glasses, for Christ's sake.
They tell me that Orange is the New Brown
But always thought that Wes Brown was "Orange"
They tell me that Orange is the New Brown
But always thought that Wes Brown was "Orange".
I generally don't like to judge people based on their colour, but I've got absolutely no time for orange people.
I generally don't like to judge people based on their colour, but I've got absolutely no time for orange people.
I'd never judge anyone by there skin colour but there biscuit colour can sometimes be Orange this i do like.
Orange should never be bullied
I generally don't like to judge people based on their colour, but I've got absolutely no time for orange people.
oracist
What do we want?
Orange People
When Do we want um?
Now.
JOHN-HENRYS-HAMMER
2-3-11, 19:55
oracist
Somewhat surprisingly, Gene Wilder was a well known, high profile oracist.
http://blog.halfpriceperfumes.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/umpa-lumpa.jpg
Panic-Button
2-3-11, 22:03
Are we still talking about the fetus, or did it turn out to be a huge dissappointment?
Are we still talking about the fetus, or did it turn out to be a huge dissappointment?
we have moved on to the placenta...i think
How's this for hypothetical?? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTjbFt-PRWA&feature=related)
mind blowing stuff. that vid deserves its own thread
There's a thread suggesting Johnson is the best right-midfielder in the Premier League. Now, if Johnson can be dubbed such a player whilst playing regularly at left-wingback in recent weeks - is it really so ludicrous to describe the as-yet contents of Nigel's scrotal sack and mere twinkle in his eye the best player to ever pull on our famous red jersey? I think the statements are analogous and both deserve some serious consideration.
If there was a revote today of the 100 Players Who Shook The Kop, who here can honestly say that Nigel's hypothetical fetus would not be pushing for a place in the top 3 alongside Kenny and Heggem?
Will Nigels fetus be born in Liverpool?
Or is he an OOTer fetus?
Red-And-Proud
3-3-11, 16:04
Will Nigels fetus be born in Liverrpool?
Or is he an OOTer fetus?
Also known as a footer
I'm also a little worried that with Nigels little dabble with the "slightly overweight new temp" could lead to a slightly overweight baby,could lead to a slightly overweight youngster,coul;d lead to us signing Fat Frank Lamplard.
Maybe the Doctor could be called.
Also known as a footer
Support your local "Womb"
I'm also a little worried that with Nigels little dabble with the "slightly overweight new temp" could lead to a slightly overweight baby,could lead to a slightly overweight youngster,coul;d lead to us signing Fat Frank Lamplard.
Maybe the Doctor could be called.
Yeah, I think we have the new Suso's position all wrong. He clearly has all the attributes to be the new Carroll or the new Wisdom.
[QUOTE=rex-hunt;5143865]Nigel, who works in accounting, is rumoured to have begun flirting quite heavily with the slightly overweight new temp who has only recently started working on the floor below us. Nigel has a lovely wife with whom he has spawned four young daughters in only four years of marriage - evidence of his rampant fertility - and his rumoured indiscretions have got me thinking . . . if he goes all the way with the slightly overweight temp, there's a very good chance it will be a rash and unprotected bunk-up in the stationary cupboard on the third floor. And, given Nigel's renowned fertility, there's every chance that the slightly overweight temp could be left with one in the oven, as they say.
Now, could this hypothetical fetus, this mere twinke in an eye, could it see out the gestation period and be healthily borne into this world of ours? If so, the odds would seem to suggest that Nigel is due a son. The only logical question which remains is this: could this hypothetical fetus represent the 'new Suso'? We can only live in hope . . . though I feel there is every chance, not least because I have Faith in Kenny.[/QUO
As i'm a gambler what i want to know is how do you work out that Nigel's odds of having a son look good?
A. It's 50/50
B. It's more likely that already having three girls the odds might suggest a forth girl could be about to be born to Our Nigel.
Latest betting odds
Nigel's next baby to be a Girl 4/7
Nigel's next baby to be a Boy 6/4
Nigels next baby to be an OOTer 1/4
SYNOPSIS
17 YEARS TIME
Liverpool run out at there new super-stadium with a line up including
Rebecca the Daughter of Nigel becoming the first female to play for LFC
Yeah, I think we have the new Suso's position all wrong. He clearly has all the attributes to be the new Carroll or the new Wisdom.
If Nigel is to have a daughter we might yet get a new "Carol"
[QUOTE=rex-hunt;5143865]Nigel, who works in accounting, is rumoured to have begun flirting quite heavily with the slightly overweight new temp who has only recently started working on the floor below us. Nigel has a lovely wife with whom he has spawned four young daughters in only four years of marriage - evidence of his rampant fertility - and his rumoured indiscretions have got me thinking . . . if he goes all the way with the slightly overweight temp, there's a very good chance it will be a rash and unprotected bunk-up in the stationary cupboard on the third floor. And, given Nigel's renowned fertility, there's every chance that the slightly overweight temp could be left with one in the oven, as they say.
Now, could this hypothetical fetus, this mere twinke in an eye, could it see out the gestation period and be healthily borne into this world of ours? If so, the odds would seem to suggest that Nigel is due a son. The only logical question which remains is this: could this hypothetical fetus represent the 'new Suso'? We can only live in hope . . . though I feel there is every chance, not least because I have Faith in Kenny.[/QUO
As i'm a gambler what i want to know is how do you work out that Nigel's odds of having a son look good?
A. It's 50/50
B. It's more likely that already having three girls the odds might suggest a forth girl could be about to be born to Our Nigel.
Latest betting odds
Nigel's next baby to be a Girl 4/7
Nigel's next baby to be a Boy 6/4
Nigels next baby to be an OOTer 1/4
SYNOPSIS
17 YEARS TIME
Liverpool run out at there new super-stadium with a line up including
Rebecca the Daughter of Nigel becoming the first female to play for LFC
2% said frank lampard
Will Nigels fetus be born in Liverrpool?
Or is he an OOTer fetus?
We're not sure yet. We're finding it difficult to decipher whether it will be Leicester or Liverpool, though they both count as local, right?
-Lucas--Leiva-
3-3-11, 17:54
This is such a cool thread :L
Thing is, is Nigels baby in contention for the match vs man u? Or is he not ready?
This is such a cool thread :L
Thing is, is Nigels baby in contention for the match vs man u? Or is he not ready?
:FP:
This is such a cool thread :L
Thing is, is Nigels baby in contention for the match vs man u? Or is he not ready?
Teething problems with our strikers
Thing is, is Nigels baby in contention for the match vs man u? Or is he not ready?
He didn't play for the reserves today, so I can only presume he's with the first team squad. With so many first choice defenders out for United, I've got to admit that I'm pretty excited about his chances.
I am planning to get a Liverpool jersey with 'Nigel's son' on my back. Any one know what number he will be wearing?
I am planning to get a Liverpool jersey with 'Nigel's son' on my back. Any one know what number he will be wearing?
Littlewoods are selling LFC SHIRTS for a £10
Boys size
SB...............Try number 69
-Lucas--Leiva-
3-3-11, 18:27
:FP:
Why the :FP:?
-Lucas--Leiva-
3-3-11, 18:28
He didn't play for the reserves today, so I can only presume he's with the first team squad. With so many first choice defenders out for United, I've got to admit that I'm pretty excited about his chances.
This is great, i was starting to think Kenny was losing it.. with us not thrashing West Ham 5-0! But this has got me excited again!
Nigel and your son
YNWA
I am planning to get a Liverpool jersey with 'Nigel's son' on my back. Any one know what number he will be wearing?
I think he'll be our new number 9. I know what you're thinking - that we just gave the shirt to a player for whom we paid a record fee for a Brit and in doing so made him the 8th most expensive player in the entire history of the game - but I have it on good authority that we've earmarked Nigel's hypothetical fetus for the (-) '9' (months) shirt.
A significant number of people are already calling for the number 9 shirt to be retired now that Nigel's hypothetical fetus has been associated with it, but personally I think it's a bit harsh to deny Carroll a half-season of wearing it - plus it also throws up the complication of Nigel's hypothetical fetus himself never being allowed to wear the shirt that was retired in his masterful playing honour. It's quite the complex enigma; modern logicians have already dubbed it the 'catch-9' scenario and Joseph Heller's son, Graham, will be using it as the basis of his lecture at the Paradox Convention hosted by The Albert pub tomorrow night, if anyone's interested.
Why the :FP:?
because
1. you tried undermining the seriousness of this thread by calling it a cool thread
2. you questioned the readiness of nigels fetus
does nigel's fetus have a twitter account?
I think he'll be our new number 9. I know what you're thinking - that we just gave the shirt to a player for whom we paid a record fee for a Brit and in doing so made him the 8th most expensive player in the entire history of the game - but I have it on good authority that we've earmarked Nigel's hypothetical fetus for the (-) '9' (months) shirt.
A significant number of people are already calling for the number 9 shirt to be retired now that Nigel's hypothetical fetus has been associated with it, but personally I think it's a bit harsh to deny Carroll a half-season of wearing it - plus it also throws up the complication of Nigel's hypothetical fetus himself never being allowed to wear the shirt that was retired in his masterful playing honour. It's quite the complex enigma; modern logicians have already dubbed it the 'catch-9' scenario and Joseph Heller's son, Graham, will be using it as the basis of his lecture at the Paradox Convention hosted by The Albert pub tomorrow night, if anyone's interested.
Yes 9 suits him well, they say as a fetus he was crawled up in the number 9 position inside the womb, he is destined to be number 9 . Poor Carroll but he has to give way to a future legend.
What other Nigel's son's merchandise are the official store selling?
does nigel's fetus have a twitter account?
email address is nigel.fetus@newborm.com
Alcohomicide
3-3-11, 19:10
email address is nigel.fetus@newborm.com
You're not allowed to give out personal details. :D
Yes 9 suits him well, they say as a fetus he was crawled up in the number 9 position inside the womb, he is destined to be number 9 . Poor Carroll but he has to give way to a future legend.
What other Nigel's son's merchandise are the official store selling?
A lot of myths and legends have built up around Nigel's fetus over the course of minutes and in some cases hours, many of which that frankly have no credence whatsoever, but that one about the fetal '9 position' is the one that always rings true for me. He was born to play in that position.
As for other merchandising, I hear the club shop is already at a second round of talks regarding a mass order of 'Nigel's Hypothetical Fetus' branded bibs, Allen key sets, USB sandwich toasters and laminate flooring removal kits from China. I think EST members have first dibs when they go on sale in the online store, so I'm thinking of finally biting the bullet and investing in an E-Season Ticket.
A lot of myths and legends have built up around Nigel's fetus over the course of minutes and in some cases hours, many of which that frankly have no credence whatsoever, but that one about the fetal '9 position' is the one that always rings true for me. He was born to play in that position.
As for other merchandising, I hear the club shop is already at a second round of talks regarding a mass order of 'Nigel's Hypothetical Fetus' branded bibs, Allen key sets, USB sandwich toasters and laminate flooring removal kits from China. I think EST members have first dibs when they go on sale in the online store, so I'm thinking of finally biting the bullet and investing in an E-Season Ticket.
Those EST people always get things first. I believe Nigel's son is a messiah and every one has the same right to his merchandise. I am going to write to the club about this :mad:
i don't have any kids but I can already hear sweet kiddy voices in my head asking me to buy those bibs, I think its my future kids.
You seem like a smashing bloke, so I'm telling you this as a friend - don't post things like this online in public forums. Not everyone's as open minded as me, and the Crown Prosecution Service are big fans of google.
You seem like a smashing bloke, so I'm telling you this as a friend - don't post things like this online in public forums. Not everyone's as open minded as me, and the Crown Prosecution Service are big fans of google.
:eek:
i do not know whether you are serious or not but i have edited it, please edit it from the quoted post if you are not joking with that. :eek: :FP:
:eek:
i do not know whether you are serious or not but i have edited it, please edit it from the quoted post if you are not joking with that. :eek: :FP:
This thread is not a place for joking about. I'm as serious as N'gog's goal-threat.
This thread is not a place for joking about. I'm as serious as N'gog's goal-threat.
You scared me, probably as scared as Mr.Red card Vidic will be when he faces nigel's son at Anfield next season.
Wtf are youse gibbering a load of crap bout
JOHN-HENRYS-HAMMER
3-3-11, 19:58
Wtf are youse gibbering a load of crap bout
Preconceived, theoretical stars of tomorrow. :scarf
Panic-Button
3-3-11, 23:28
The fetus has been spotted house hunting in liverpool after having spoken to the club about a contract. Make of that what you will.
Ive heard that Gary Neville was also having it off with the bird from your office. He could be the ******* son of Ratboy!!!! I pray to god that these rumours arent true...
There's a guaranteed £7m whether he can play football or not then. Seems like a no-lose investment.
Maybe Fergie should just give Nigel £6m and tell him he is never to touch that slightly overweight young lady. At least then he would save himself a million quid on nothing!
Ive heard that Gary Neville was also having it off with the bird from your office. He could be the ******* son of Ratboy!!!! I pray to god that these rumours arent true...
source?
anything less than keith from dublin and i will ask boston-sox to neg you
This is such a cool thread :L
Thing is, is Nigels baby in contention for the match vs man u? Or is he not ready?
Rosemary' Baby > Nigel's Baby
You scared me, probably as scared as Mr.Red card Vidic will be when he faces nigel's son at Anfield next season.
I like to imagine Nigel's hypothetical fetus still at Anfield next season, but with Torres having left and increasing rumours that Reina might be following him out the door - I can't help but worry that Nigel's purely theoretical offspring will also look to greener pastures.
I know what you're thinking - 'he's not like the other mercenaries; he's Liverpool through and through' - but someone of his calibre should be playing Champions League football and testing himself at the very top level against the likes of Hapoel Tel Aviv, Bursaspor, CFR Cluj, MSK Zilina, Rubin Kazan, FC Copenhagen . . . and countless other greats of the European game. In our heart of hearts, do we really think that Thursday nights on Channel 5 will cut it for him? :(
I like to imagine Nigel's hypothetical fetus still at Anfield next season, but with Torres having left and increasing rumours that Reina might be following him out the door - I can't help but worry that Nigel's purely theoretical offspring will also look to greener pastures.
I know what you're thinking - 'he's not like the other mercenaries; he's Liverpool through and through' - but someone of his calibre should be playing Champions League football and testing himself at the very top level against the likes of Hapoel Tel Aviv, Bursaspor, CFR Cluj, MSK Zilina, Rubin Kazan, FC Copenhagen . . . and countless other greats of the European game. In our heart of hearts, do we really think Thursday nights on Channel 5 will cut it for him? :(
what's the body language like?
body language is like the most accurate way of assessing whether a fetus wants to leave?has it been kicking about?
what's the body language like?
body language is like the most accurate way of assessing whether a fetus wants to leave?has it been kicking about?
Astute question, most top coaches are aware that 'body language' represents the best way to understand and analyse players of Nigel's hypothetical fetus's age. There was an article from the renowned and respected footballing institute goal.com recently which quoted a 'leaked' assessment of the lad from our club doctors - apparently the fetus has displayed a tendency to sulk, an inherent laziness and lack of movement, and they feel he will take some time to mature physically and mentally. Not great news, I'll grant you; however, the upside is that he is kicking well and that this sort of sulking immaturity didn't stop the likes of Anelka, Cassano, Cristiano Ronaldo or El Hadji Diouf turning into world-class players.
Astute question, most top coaches are aware that 'body language' represents the best way to understand and analyse players of Nigel's hypothetical fetus's age. There was an article from the renowned and respected footballing institute goal.com recently which quoted a 'leaked' assessment of the lad from our club doctors - apparently the fetus has displayed a tendency to sulk, an inherent laziness and lack of movement, and they feel he will take some time to mature physically and mentally. Not great news, I'll grant you; however, the upside is that he is kicking well and that this sort of sulking immaturity didn't stop the likes of Anelka, Cassano, Cristiano Ronaldo or El Hadji Diouf turning into world-class players.
:PN:
maradona4liverpool
4-3-11, 13:54
I hear Nigel is to appear on tomorrows Jeremy Kyle show...
Apparently wes browns mum is claiming he's the dad but Nigel claims his foetus skills are pedigree but agrees to go on as you can always get 1 bad egg
Astute question, most top coaches are aware that 'body language' represents the best way to understand and analyse players of Nigel's hypothetical fetus's age. There was an article from the renowned and respected footballing institute goal.com recently which quoted a 'leaked' assessment of the lad from our club doctors - apparently the fetus has displayed a tendency to sulk, an inherent laziness and lack of movement, and they feel he will take some time to mature physically and mentally. Not great news, I'll grant you; however, the upside is that he is kicking well and that this sort of sulking immaturity didn't stop the likes of Anelka, Cassano, Cristiano Ronaldo or El Hadji Diouf turning into world-class players.
i stopped reading when you mentioned goal.com
ofcourse,everything after that had to be authentic
i stopped reading when you mentioned goal.com
I'll have you know that goal.com was ranked by the eminently respected football-rumours.co.uk as one of the '500 most reputable football rumour websites operating out of Ferrara', which is the rural fishing village which houses the website's global headquarters and extensive, state-of-the-art research barn.
The is a story on the front page of the Echo saying a woman in Bootle saw what looked like an image of Nigel's fetus appear on her toast.
-Lucas--Leiva-
4-3-11, 18:34
because
1. you tried undermining the seriousness of this thread by calling it a cool thread
2. you questioned the readiness of nigels fetus
I see your point now and i am truly sorry. I never meant to cause any offence and wwas merely stating how cool rex was to bring it to my attention.
It wasnt me wuestioning the readiness... more like me not knowing the laest news in the fetus story. Just to clarify... it is likely he will be starting?
Sorry again for any distress caused by this and if somebody tells me i will gladly rep them for their trouble.
Just to clarify... is it likely he will be starting?
I'm hearing conflicting things at the minute. On the one hand, he wasn't playing for the reserves so you'd assume he was with the first team squad; but then he wasn't in the first team photo for Kenny's birthday today. So your guess is as good as mine. There's a lot of talk on twitter that he's been spotted at Madrid airport, but I don't buy it.
I'm hearing conflicting things at the minute. On the one hand, he wasn't playing for the reserves so you'd assume he was with the first team squad; but then he wasn't in the first team photo for Kenny's birthday today. So your guess is as good as mine. There's a lot of talk on twitter that he's been spotted at Madrid airport, but I don't buy it.
He was in the photo m8, hes the one Carra is blocking. People have been debating exactly who that was.... now you know.
SteveClarkesCerebrum
4-3-11, 19:59
nigel needs to pull the finger out. he is never going to win the hearts of the fans by sitting on the bench collecting his fat wage.
I'm hearing conflicting things at the minute. On the one hand, he wasn't playing for the reserves so you'd assume he was with the first team squad; but then he wasn't in the first team photo for Kenny's birthday today. So your guess is as good as mine. There's a lot of talk on twitter that he's been spotted at Madrid airport, but I don't buy it.
There are reports Madrid are preparing a 100 million + Kaka bid for him :(
nigel needs to pull the finger out. he is never going to win the hearts of the fans by sitting on the bench collecting his fat wage.
His name isnt Nigel, his name is 'Nigels Featus'.....
cmon lad get up to speed :rolleyes:
There are reports Madrid are preparing a 100 million + Kaka bid for him :(
they can **** off
-Lucas--Leiva-
5-3-11, 12:59
Morning all, i would say good morning but that is something that this morning is not.
I went to oxford uni, and made a friend called Jack Phillips there. Nowadays Jack is very high up behind the scenes at Melwood and also at anfield. I asked him about the future of our future starlet. I am araid the news isnt good. Just as many of you have anticipated by his body language NF is disenchanted with life at LFC. Jack believes if Pepe goes than Nigels Fetus will follow, even worse it is expected nigels fetus will move to Chelsea to try to revive his dream of playing with his fetushood idol- Torres. We can only hope that Jack is wrong on this. However he has been proved right on so many occasions. He told me 4 months before we signed Carrol and Suarez that we wanted a striker.
Oh by the way.. can nobody tll Liverpool FC that Jack has leaked this, he could get in BIG trouble
Morning all, i would say good morning but that is something that this morning is not.
I went to oxford uni, and made a friend called Jack Phillips there. Nowadays Jack is very high up behind the scenes at Melwood and also at anfield. I asked him about the future of our future starlet. I am araid the news isnt good. Just as many of you have anticipated by his body language NF is disenchanted with life at LFC. Jack believes if Pepe goes than Nigels Fetus will follow, even worse it is expected nigels fetus will move to Chelsea to try to revive his dream of playing with his fetushood idol- Torres. We can only hope that Jack is wrong on this. However he has been proved right on so many occasions. He told me 4 months before we signed Carrol and Suarez that we wanted a striker.
Oh by the way.. can nobody tll Liverpool FC that Jack has leaked this, he could get in BIG trouble
Well from the sound of his previous leeks, Jack certainly seems like he knows his onions.
Superb spot from Liv-4-Ever to spot Nigel's lad behind Carra in this team photo:
http://assets.liverpoolfc.tv/images5/109757984AP048_Liverpool_rresized.JPG
However, I cannot make out whether he's grinning along with the rest of the team, and therefore I'm unable to discern his mood. There's already talk on twitter that he's crouched down behind Carra because he's on the phone to his agent, and there's even someone claiming to have a close-up from a different angle of just this:
http://www.corbisimages.com/images/67/02A67CB5-C89C-4C7E-9A73-2C8633299C9D/U1838302.jpg
At first I was struggling to buy it, but it's from a reputable source so I am rightly refusing to question it.
There's already talk on twitter that he's crouched down behind Carra because he's on the phone to his agent, and there's even someone claiming to have a close-up from a different angle of just this:
http://www.corbisimages.com/images/67/02A67CB5-C89C-4C7E-9A73-2C8633299C9D/U1838302.jpg
At first I was struggling to buy it, but it's from a reputable source so I am rightly refusing to question it.
:eek: :D
the slightly overweight new temp
ummmmmm ..
Morning all, i would say good morning but that is something that this morning is not.
I went to oxford uni, and made a friend called Jack Phillips there. Nowadays Jack is very high up behind the scenes at Melwood and also at anfield. I asked him about the future of our future starlet. I am araid the news isnt good. Just as many of you have anticipated by his body language NF is disenchanted with life at LFC. Jack believes if Pepe goes than Nigels Fetus will follow, even worse it is expected nigels fetus will move to Chelsea to try to revive his dream of playing with his fetushood idol- Torres. We can only hope that Jack is wrong on this. However he has been proved right on so many occasions. He told me 4 months before we signed Carrol and Suarez that we wanted a striker.
Oh by the way.. can nobody tll Liverpool FC that Jack has leaked this, he could get in BIG trouble
the only source i believe in other than goal.com is keith from dublin
none of this jack-****
Panic-Button
5-3-11, 14:55
nigel needs to pull the finger out. he is never going to win the hearts of the fans by sitting on the bench collecting his fat wage.
I know there is currently a lot of confusion and speculation about the future of Nigels fetus, but I have inside information that the reason behind his lack of appearances is down to a minor hamstring strain. We should hopefully be seeing the fetus in action in 3-4 weeks.
-Lucas--Leiva-
5-3-11, 14:55
the only source i believe in other than goal.com is keith from dublin
none of this jack-****
woah woah woah!!
o need for the abuse on Jack.
He has proved his worth many a time!
http://forums.liverpoolfc.tv/showthread.php?t=228273&page=2
I think this thread should answer all your concerns. His first mention is post 34.
They say jack from Oxford is the next Keith from dublin
They say jack from Oxford is the next Keith from dublin
Don't go turning this thread into another 'Fields of Anfield Road', England v Ireland debate . . .
-Lucas--Leiva-
5-3-11, 17:16
Don't go turning this thread into another 'Fields of Anfield Road', England v Ireland debate . . .
I have heard the rumours he is talking about. Jack isnt sure about this though. He wants to be more in the shadows unlike keith. He could lose his job if everyone starts talking!
He could lose his job if everyone starts talking!
Nigel can empathise, he has a marriage and kids on the line; plus his job is also at stake if he doesn't manage to replace the handrails in the disabled toilets at work. Calling her 'slightly overweight' was probably a tad polite.
They say jack from Oxford is the next Keith from dublin
jack from oxford IS keith from dublin
he is keith's tyler durden
or is it the other way round?
jack from oxford IS keith from dublin
he is keith's tyler durden
or is it the other way round?
Diodorus Siculus recounts the story of a God, broken and scattered across the globe. Who among us has never felt, walking through the twilight or writing down a date from his past, that he has lost something infinite?
Mankind has lost a face, an irretrievable face, and all have longed to be that pilgrim — imagined in the Empyrean, beneath the Rose — who in Rome sees the Veronica and murmurs in faith, “Keith, from Dublin, is this truly thy semblance?”
Beside a road there is a stone face and an inscription that says, 'The True Portrait of the Holy Face of Keith from Dublin.' If we truly knew what it was like, the key to the parables would be ours and we would know whether the son of the accountant was also the Son of Nigel.
Paul saw it as a light that struck him to the ground; John, as the sun when it shines in all its glorious strength; Teresa of Avilla saw it many times, bathed in tranquil light, yet was never absle to discern the colour of His Shirt.
We lost those features, as one may lose a magic number made up of familiar ciphers, as one loses an image in a kaleidoscope . . . forever. We may see them again yet know them not. The profile of a Manc in the supermarket is perhaps the profile of Keith; perhaps the hands that give us our change at a ticket window duplicate the ones some soldier nailed one day to the cross.
Perhaps a feature of the crucified face lurks in every mirror; perhaps the face died, was erased, so that Keith may be all of us.
Who knows whether tonight we may see it in the labyrinth of dreams, and tomorrow not know we saw it.
Will they show the conception on LFCTV? I know people say it's too early to put a lot of pressure on him, but if he misses his first target he might as well say goodbye to his career.
King Kenny and Andy Carroll have tickets to see a new band known as "Fetuszone"
i missed the match
did he play?
i missed the match
did he play?
He was going to come on, but Aurelio got injured and Carroll had been pencilled in for a definite appearance (and nobody has told Kenny you're allowed to make 3 subs) . . . so it don't happen for him. There are rumours on twitter that he played disguised as Kuyt and bagged a hatrick, which would explain a lot, but seems too simple an answer and therefore lacks the requisite air of mystery to be true.
He was going to come on, but Aurelio got injured and Carroll had been pencilled in for a definite appearance (and nobody has told Kenny you're allowed to make 3 subs) . . . so it don't happen for him. There are rumours on twitter that he played disguised as Kuyt and bagged a hatrick, which would explain a lot, but seems too simple an answer and therefore lacks the requisite air of mystery to be true.
why kenny doesn't use the 3rd sub. is beyond me
your disguise theory has its merits...kuyt can't possibly score a hat-trick...did he ever score one in holland?
i know you are an old man rex,did they have just 2 subs. when kenny used to play?
i know you are an old man rex,did they have just 2 subs. when kenny used to play?
Oi! Fair enough, though . . . I actually began watching football around the time subs became allowed in English football, and even then it was only one allowed . . . and even then it was only if an injury occurred! Kenny would have begun playing when 2 were allowed, but I cannot for the life of me remember exactly which season 3 became the norm (I must be getting old, eh? ;)) Anyone else recall when this was?
Oi! Fair enough, though . . . I actually began watching football around the time subs became allowed in English football, and even then it was only one allowed . . . and even then it was only if an injury occurred! Kenny would have begun playing when 2 were allowed, but I cannot for the life of me remember exactly which season 3 became the norm (I must be getting old, eh? ;)) Anyone else recall when this was?
you are old...relative to a fetus
i think i read somewhere that in kenny's days,there were only 2 points for a win...do you think kenny is somehow confusing this with that...afterall he is also getting on in age...he turned what, 60 a couple of days ago and he's been out of management for so long as well
you are old...relative to a fetus
i think i read somewhere that in kenny's days,there were only 2 points for a win...do you think kenny is somehow confusing this with that...afterall he is also getting on in age...he turned what, 60 a couple of days ago and he's been out of management for so long as well
In my day games went on for 48 hours straight; and there were no subs, no physios, no half-time breaks, no free-kicks, no fans, no wages, no grass, no floodlights, no pitch-markings, no crossbars, no shin-pads, no hair-free upper-lips, no studs, no referees, no gloves for goalkeepers, no managers, no tactics, no technique, no smiles, no formations, no-one keeping score and very often no ball. But it was a real game back then, proper football, not like today. Pansies who are paid millions.
Panic-Button
6-3-11, 18:15
Let's hope Nigels fetus isn't born with an injury.. That could be a set back on his career
Let's hope Nigels fetus isn't born with an injury.. That could be a set back on his career
That kind of talk is a bit premature . . .
Has anyone else heard the rumour that Nigel's fetus broke the curfew yesterday and went to party with a bunch of girls? They say he was out with at least 3 other female fetuses,(the reporter herself was quite tipsy after a few drinks and her memory about the incident is a bit hazy) they had a lot to drink and drove off into the night in a tiny, shiny ferrari and did fetusy stuff at a nearby hotel/mansion. Nigel's fetus came back early in the morning before the mother woke up so she is not aware of anything and has denied these allegations about her soon to be born son.
I hope this is not true. These footballers get paid millions of dollars every year, why do they feel the need to blow it on fast cars, alcohol and gorgeous women, why can't they live frugally like normal men do? :mad:
Has anyone else heard the rumour that Nigel's fetus broke the curfew yesterday and went to party with a bunch of girls? They say he was out with at least 3 other female fetuses,(the reporter herself was quite tipsy after a few drinks and her memory about the incident is a bit hazy) they had a lot to drink and drove off into the night in a tiny, shiny ferrari and did fetusy stuff at a nearby hotel/mansion. Nigel's fetus came back early in the morning before the mother woke up so she is not aware of anything and has denied these allegations about her soon to be born son.
I hope this is not true. These footballers get paid millions of dollars every year, why do they feel the need to blow it on fast cars, alcohol and gorgeous women, why can't they live frugally like normal men do? :mad:
You can say what you like about Slur Alex, but he certainly wouldn't have let this happen under his watch. When a young Lee Sharpe had the audacity to ask if he would be allowed to go and watch Jumanji at the local Odeon on a Tuesday evening (bearing in mind they had a big game against Swindon in the league on the coming Sunday), Fergie went ballistic and dropped him to the reserves. Few people know that this was the incident that signalled the beginning of the end for the once promising Sharpe. I hope Kenny follows suit and throws the book at Nigel's fetus.
You can say what you like about Slur Alex, but he certainly wouldn't have let this happen under his watch. When a young Lee Sharpe had the audacity to ask if he would be allowed to go and watch Jumanji at the local Odeon on a Tuesday evening (bearing in mind they had a big game against Swindon in the league on the coming Sunday), Fergie went ballistic and dropped him to the reserves. Few people know that this was the incident that signalled the beginning of the end for the once promising Sharpe. I hope Kenny follows suit and throws the book at Nigel's fetus.
He did throw the book but it hit the mother in the stomach and the doctors were not too happy with him about it.
About Ferguson, I think he would have done a good job of dealing with Nigel's fetus considering his previous experience. Look at how well he has developed Ronaldo and Nani. They do tend to cry and fall down often but this is just an early stage in their development from a fetus to a full grown adult and all of this is likely to happen. But the football they play is very impressive and physically, for babies, they are very strong.
About Ferguson, I think he would have done a good job of dealing with Nigel's fetus considering his previous experience. Look at how well he has developed Ronaldo and Nani. They do tend to cry and fall down often but this is just an early stage in their development from a fetus to a full grown adult and all of this is likely to happen. But the football they play is very impressive and physically, for babies, they are very strong.
Nani can often be heard whining about being dubbed the 'new Cristiano Ronaldo', but I've lost interest in them both and have long been more concerned with Sporting's young Armindo Bruma - the 'new Nani'. But Nigel's hypothetical fetus is more exciting yet, with many on the continent already calling him the 'English Armindo Tue Na Bangna Bruma'.
I just wish we had someone in charge with Fergie's experience to develop him and keep him on the straight and narrow. When Fergie took a young and wayward Paul Scholes to a New Kids on the Block concert back in 1997, he completely removed every last trace of personality from him. We need someone with that sort of forethought.
Panic-Button
9-3-11, 22:38
I cant say ive watched this particular fetus enough times, can anyone tell me what mould of player he is in?
I cant say ive watched this particular fetus enough times, can anyone tell me what mould of player he is in?
A couple of weeks ago everyone was describing him as the 'new Suso' - but now most respected armchair-pundits are likening him to that 14 year old lad who we just signed from Bradford. Unfortunately nobody can remember his name, and referring to Nigel's hypothetical fetus as 'the new lad who's like that lad who we just signed from Bradford' has understandably failed to catch on as a nickname.
Some people say that Nigel's fetus should be called Suso and Suso should be refereed to as 'The Old Suso' from here on. The Old Suso was quite ****** off about it but he should understand that Nigel's fetus is something special.
Some people say that Nigel's fetus should be called Suso and Suso should be refereed to as 'The Old Suso' from here on. The Old Suso was quite ****** off about it but he should understand that Nigel's fetus is something special.
I've already started referring to him as 'The Old, Fat Suso' as a mark of the utmost respect and a nod to the late, great Ronaldo Luis Nazario de Lima, who retired many days ago now and probably plied his trade well before many of our younger fans began watching football. I don't think he'd cut it in today's game to be honest - but that's another issue for another thread.
Can anyone let me know what Nigel's fetus's 'potential' rating is on Football Manager'? I want to know how good he's going to be, and frankly I'm not interested in wasting my time by waiting to watch him play in order to find out.
There's a rumour doing the rounds on Twitter that he's starting against Braga tonight . . .
There's a rumour doing the rounds on Twitter that he's starting against Braga tonight . . .
did he kick about in the reserves last night?
did he kick about in the reserves last night?
He didn't feature for the reserves nor for the Youth team in their narrow defeat to United - this has fuelled the speculation that he's playing tonight. I have to admit that I'm pretty excited. I've hooked a generator up to a TV in the garage in case there's a power-cut and I'm going to be streaming the game on both my laptop and the family computer. I'm not missing this one.
He didn't feature for the reserves nor for the Youth team in their narrow defeat to United - this has fuelled the speculation that he's playing tonight. I have to admit that I'm pretty excited. I've hooked a generator up to a TV in the garage in case there's a power-cut and I'm going to be streaming the game on both my laptop and the family computer. I'm not missing this one.
i wasn't planning on watching it since it kicks off 1 am local time and i have to get up at 6:30 in the morning but this new revelation might change things
i really don't see it happening in a european tie that we have to win but i guess we'll find out in about 20 minutes
Panic-Button
17-3-11, 18:46
Nigels fetus >> Poulsen. Let's hope he gets some game time tonight
There's a rumour doing the rounds on Twitter that he's starting against Braga tonight . . .
not even on the bench
clever way of bumping the thread without actually bumping it
not even on the bench
:eek: If he's not injured, some serious questions need to be asked of Kenny. With all due respect, how the hell can you pick an unimaginative if steady keeper like Reina ahead of an attacking prodigy like Nigel's lad? Doesn't he know we need to score to go through? :FP:
I think it's shocking decisions like this which are leaving NESV hesitant to appoint Dalglish on a full-time basis.
SteveClarkesCerebrum
17-3-11, 19:27
What a thread son.
What a thread!
:D
-Lucas--Leiva-
17-3-11, 22:12
Can anyone let me know what Nigel's fetus's 'potential' rating is on Football Manager'? I want to know how good he's going to be, and frankly I'm not interested in wasting my time by waiting to watch him play in order to find out.
Dont think he's on there mate... like sterling isnt... it ****s me off :mad:
-Lucas--Leiva-
21-3-11, 14:01
Anyone think nigels fetus will get ANY game time now we are out of europe?
Anyone think nigels fetus will get ANY game time now we are out of europe?
I'd like to see us give him his début away to WBA in our next game, just to show Roy how foolish he was for not blooding him earlier. Then again, if he had done, we would probably be challenging for the title and he'd still be in charge . . . and Kenny wouldn't. I don't like to consider it - choosing between two legends like Kenny and Nigel's fetus doesn't sit well with me.
Anyone think nigels fetus will get ANY game time now we are out of europe?
maybe
if someone tells kenny that he has 3 subs. at his disposal
or
if spearing starts ahead of lucas and lucas does not play until the end of the season because he has been rubbish all this time
maybe
if someone tells kenny that he has 3 subs. at his disposal
We all know that Kenny has been saving that third sub for Nigel's Hypothetical Fetus - but he's been struggling to get his bib off before the final whistle.
We all know that Kenny has been saving that third sub for Nigel's Hypothetical Fetus - but he's been struggling to get his bib off before the final whistle.
what does sammy lee do?
he seems to be ideal for such tasks
what does sammy lee do?
he seems to be ideal for such tasks
True. Pass this instructional video on to him next time you see him . . .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAtYlc1BsK8
True. Pass this instructional video on to him next time you see him . . .
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAtYlc1BsK8
In a way, Nigel's fetus and Balotelli are quite similar to each other. Extremely talented yet mind numbingly stupid. There can only be so much space in a human brain and if there is too much genius in there, other things cannot fit in. Of course, since Nigel's fetus has at least 10 times the talent of Mario, he would be the stupidest footballer ever. The club should look into making Sammy Lee a full time attendant for Nigel's fetus, he could help the fetus in his day to day activities. From what I have heard, after Steve Clark's appointment, all that Sammy Lee does is place cones on the pitch so it wouldn't affect the team's training in any way.
In a way, Nigel's fetus and Balotelli are quite similar to each other. Extremely talented yet mind numbingly stupid. There can only be so much space in a human brain and if there is too much genius in there, other things cannot fit in. Of course, since Nigel's fetus has at least 10 times the talent of Mario, he would be the stupidest footballer ever. The club should look into making Sammy Lee a full time attendant for Nigel's fetus, he could help the fetus in his day to day activities. From what I have heard, after Steve Clark's appointment, all that Sammy Lee does is place cones on the pitch so it wouldn't affect the team's training in any way.
You make some interesting points; I like to think that this forum exists for precisely this brand of pertinent and poignant point making, but it so rarely proves to be the case.
I'm going to send Sammy my entire Donald Winnicott collection, plus Julian Dicks' seminal magnum opus: The Origin of Footballing Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind.
You make some interesting points; I like to think that this forum exists for precisely this brand of pertinent and poignant point making, but it so rarely proves to be the case.
I'm going to send Sammy my entire Donald Winnicott collection, plus Julian Dicks' seminal magnum opus: The Origin of Footballing Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind.
That, sir, is a gem of a book. With the help of that classic, Sammy Lee will be able to dress and feed Nigel's fetus in the most appropriate manner. In a small way, you might contribute to bringing back the golden days to Liverpool.
-Lucas--Leiva-
21-3-11, 16:32
maybe
if someone tells kenny that he has 3 subs. at his disposal
or
if spearing starts ahead of lucas and lucas does not play until the end of the season because he has been rubbish all this time
Definetly the most over rated player Liverpool have EVER had!
I would hate to think about what lucas' new baby would do on the pitch.... but thats a new thread
Definetly the most over rated player Liverpool have EVER had!
I would hate to think about what lucas' new baby would do on the pitch.... but thats a new thread
so you're saying spearing is better than lucas?
Nigel's lad has just uttered his first word . . . "obviously".
Nigel's lad has just uttered his first word . . . "obviously".
is nigel an oot?
is nigel an oot?
I have absolutely no idea, but I'm happy to speculate that he is, yes. Definitely.
I'm have absolutely no idea, but I'm happy to speculate that he is, yes. Definitely.
thats like having an illegitimate child
thats like having an illegitimate child
That's better than having an illiterate one (I've corrected my original post :o).
has the fetus developed a groin?
has the fetus developed a groin?
He's going in for a second scan on Wednesday afternoon; there were early signs of Steven Gerrard Syndrome (http://forums.liverpoolfc.tv/showthread.php?t=240104) (i.e. two groins) spotted during his first scan. It's all over twitter at the moment. Really worrying stuff. :(
-Lucas--Leiva-
21-3-11, 19:26
so you're saying spearing is better than lucas?
Of course!! Isnt it obvious that i know better than rafa, roy, kenny and the brazil coach!!
He's going in for a second scan on Wednesday afternoon; there were early signs of Steven Gerrard Syndrome (http://forums.liverpoolfc.tv/showthread.php?t=240104) (i.e. two groins) spotted during his first scan. It's all over twitter at the moment. Really worrying stuff. :(
This news has ruined my day. Although ill only believe it once its on the homepage, or if guilliame balague announces it!
Of course!! Isnt it obvious that i know better than rafa, roy, kenny and the brazil coach!!
This news has ruined my day. Although ill only believe it once its on the homepage, or if guilliame balague announces it!
do you have your coaching badges?
i ask because there was some guy here a while back who could boast of his coaching badges
Just out of curiosity, while we haven't even seen the old Suso in action, what's all this speculation about the new Suso :FP:
He's going in for a second scan on Wednesday afternoon; there were early signs of Steven Gerrard Syndrome (http://forums.liverpoolfc.tv/showthread.php?t=240104) (i.e. two groins) spotted during his first scan. It's all over twitter at the moment. Really worrying stuff. :(
Worrying stuff indeed, I am not familiar with the progress in the medical field, is there a procedure to surgically remove a groin? :(
Just out of curiosity, while we haven't even seen the old Suso in action, what's all this speculation about the new Suso :FP:
:FP:
i feel that rex is the best person to answer this question
-Lucas--Leiva-
22-3-11, 17:17
do you have your coaching badges?
i ask because there was some guy here a while back who could boast of his coaching badges
No, thats not me. However from my extensive knowledge of football manager i feel i have the exact same right to share my opinion, if not more ofa right.
I am in the "favoured personnel" of 3 of players ill have you know! :p
No, thats not me. However from my extensive knowledge of football manager i feel i have the exact same right to share my opinion, if not more ofa right.
I am in the "favoured personnel" of 3 of players ill have you know! :p
kuyt and lucas don't count
pachecho as has already been said is now part of the personnel
-Lucas--Leiva-
22-3-11, 18:24
kuyt and lucas don't count
pachecho as has already been said is now part of the personnel
Im also very good at bringing up youth, infact maybe kenny should quit now and give the job t someone with ore experiance, obviously not me!
How about David Moyes?
Im also very good at bringing up youth, infact maybe kenny should quit now and give the job t someone with ore experiance, obviously not me!
How about David Moyes?
I thought David Moyes fell into Mount Doom when he tried to get his 'Precious'. :confused:
-Lucas--Leiva-
22-3-11, 18:29
I thought David Moyes fell into Mount Doom when he tried to get his 'Precious'. :confused:
Pretty sure that was martin O neill.... or maybe yoda? :confused:
The international week has got me thinking, what country will Nigel's fetus play for?
The international week has got me thinking, what country will Nigel's fetus play for?
local team
The international week has got me thinking, what country will Nigel's fetus play for?
Like Carra, he's retired from International football to concentrate on his club football. He also stated in a recent interview that he'd rather have missed a penalty for England at the World Cup than miss one against his cousin on the Playstation.
-murray556677
27-3-11, 20:10
It seems Nigel has arranged a paternity test......with shocking results. The dad is actually Gary Neville. :eek::eek::eek:
-Lucas--Leiva-
27-3-11, 21:56
It seems Nigel has arranged a paternity test......with shocking results. The dad is actually Gary Neville. :eek::eek::eek:
:FP::FP:
No the dads nigel
It seems Nigel has arranged a paternity test......with shocking results. The dad is actually Gary Neville. :eek::eek::eek:
I think we would know if the dad was Gary Neville. He'd be running around squeaking and eating left over burgers from McDonald's.
-murray556677
27-3-11, 23:10
Nigel's fetus is the devil child.
It seems Nigel has arranged a paternity test......with shocking results. The dad is actually Gary Neville. :eek::eek::eek:
why would nigel arrange a paternity test?
we are interested in the fetus of nige and not who has fathered nigel
what a wum:FP:
-Lucas--Leiva-
28-3-11, 22:35
why would nigel arrange a paternity test?
we are interested in the fetus of nige and not who has fathered nigel
what a wum:FP:
Dont worry, i reported him, manc in disguise:mad:
You think he could strke s good partnership with Michaels fetus under the right guidance?
-Lucas--Leiva-
28-3-11, 23:09
You think he could strke s good partnership with Michaels fetus under the right guidance?
Who is this michael you speak of?:eek:
Who is this michael you speak of?:eek:
Everyone knows Michael
Suso has competition (http://www.liverpoolfc.tv/news/latest-news/young-dutch-trio-agree-to-reds-switch)
There have been reports of Suso being threatened by the arrival of there three Dutch wonderkids but he has denied it in his latest interview to popular infant sports website embryosports.com. Suso said"I am not threatened by these three Dutch players. This is a phase the club is going through. Before my time, we had Rafa Benitez who brought in Spanish players like Reina and Pacheco. Roy Hodgson, being English, wanted Carlton Cole but he was sacked by the owners before his vision for the club could be realised. Similarly, under Kenny Dalglish, we have the Dutch phase where we have Kuyt and these Dutch lads coming in on their fancy Dutch strollers". Why exactly Suso thinks Dalglish is from Holland remains an unsolved mystery but Liverpool fans will take heart from the fact that Suso remains committed to the team's cause in spite of the new competition.
Nigel, who works in accounting, is rumoured to have begun flirting quite heavily with the slightly overweight new temp who has only recently started working on the floor below us. Nigel has a lovely wife with whom he has spawned four young daughters in only four years of marriage - evidence of his rampant fertility - and his rumoured indiscretions have got me thinking . . . if he goes all the way with the slightly overweight temp, there's a very good chance it will be a rash and unprotected bunk-up in the stationary cupboard on the third floor. And, given Nigel's renowned fertility, there's every chance that the slightly overweight temp could be left with one in the oven, as they say.
Now, could this hypothetical fetus, this mere twinke in an eye, could it see out the gestation period and be healthily borne into this world of ours? If so, the odds would seem to suggest that Nigel is due a son. The only logical question which remains is this: could this hypothetical fetus represent the 'new Suso'? We can only live in hope . . . though I feel there is every chance, not least because I have Faith in Kenny.
Who the hell is Nigel?
Who the hell is Nigel?
He's the lad's father. Get with it. Did I mention that his mother (the 'slightly overweight temp') was Chinese? It's all starting to fall into place . . .
It's all over Twitter that Nigel's Hypothetical Fetus is in advanced talks with the owners regarding replacing Kenny as manager. Apparently his first choice as assistant is the vastly experienced veteran Andre Villas-Boas - who many feel will bring some much needed stability and tactical nous to the new managerial set-up.
Exciting times. Hopefully they'll have the courage and foresight to clear out the dead wood like Suso, Sterling and Wisdom; and blood some of our talented youth.
It's all over Twitter that Nigel's Hypothetical Fetus is in advanced talks with the owners regarding replacing Kenny as manager. Apparently his first choice as assistant is the vastly experienced veteran Andre Villas-Boas - who many feel will bring some much needed stability and tactical nous to the new managerial set-up.
Exciting times. Hopefully they'll have the courage and foresight to clear out the dead wood like Suso, Sterling and Wisdom; and blood some of our talented youth.
but where does that leave poor pachecho?:(
i thought he was being trained for the managers role
he deserves a start in the managers role after what he did for norwich
but where does that leave poor pachecho?:(
i thought he was being trained for the managers role
he deserves a start in the managers role after what he did for norwich
I think he's found his level; this time next year he'll be managing in the Championship.
-Lucas--Leiva-
11-4-11, 15:50
It's all over Twitter that Nigel's Hypothetical Fetus is in advanced talks with the owners regarding replacing Kenny as manager. Apparently his first choice as assistant is the vastly experienced veteran Andre Villas-Boas - who many feel will bring some much needed stability and tactical nous to the new managerial set-up.
Exciting times. Hopefully they'll have the courage and foresight to clear out the dead wood like Suso, Sterling and Wisdom; and blood some of our talented youth.
Good decision by the management... Kenny should of won the league by now... obviously he isnt cut out for the job.
the pre-mature birth of one john flannagan has left the arrival of the fetus in jeopardy
Reading through these pages, This has to be my favourite thread of all time.
What if when Nigel planted the seed, the woman ran away to Brazil? That's what happens with most of our talent. :FP:
Neymar is a scouser.
It's been a while, and no sign of this pregnancy yet. I'm beginning to wonder whether he's in Kenny's plans at all. It's not fair on the lad, given his potential, that the mother can't even get around to giving him some breathing time. Sorry, I'm just ********** off.
ShayGuevara
24-5-11, 18:20
He's never going to make it we should loan him to Norwich :IN:
Will he get a chance to shine in pre-season; will he be going out on loan next season . . .