More Houses Down Our Street

[IsvanCostmore]

You may find this thread very odd at first. In fact you may not quite get it at all.

First to quote the original thread from 2007/8 and explain the story of the street

"....its a row of Victorian terraces. Well, in the first house lives this really grumpy Jock. He’s been there about 20 years and made a lovely job of doing it up, despite it looking like a real dump for the first few years. Next door to him there used to be a really gobby Portuguese tenant. Fortunately the Russian landlord threw the gobby git out for whingeing about the standard of decoration expected. Apparently, it wasn’t flamboyant enough for the Russian’s tastes. The Jewish guy who has moved in seems like a decent bloke, it’s just the false ‘Jack and Vera’ style cladding I can’t stand. At number 3 is a quiet French bloke. He looks a bit freaky and spends a lot of time with the immigrant kids. At number four is a Spanish waiter, who’s been there a few years. " see Janno's post below for a bit more.

****** My Suggestion would be that you go to the last few posts in the thread and this fictional work will make more sense **************


So strange days . Just as the holidays finished there has been much activity on the street since May when many of the residents left for summer camp in Austria & Switzerland. Biggest stories of the day are that a new Arabian landlord has bought number 9 and has aspirations of moving to the top of the street. So much so that he has mistakenly ordered 32 million litres of Spanish Ribena ready for a celebration(being a muslim alcohol is off limits) or "Ribinhio" from Madrid.

The sour Scotsman at No.1 recently let the other sour bitter Scot at No.5 adopt one of his crippled kids Louis whilst enticing the Bulgarian orphan of the Jewish family at No. 11 to move into his old toilet. Eventually the adoption was completed but not without a mix up involving a former lodger of the Jock. "Yosser" Hughes lodged with the Jock during his days near the bottom of the street and even remembers not owning a cup for 6 years. However he failed to kidnap the Bulgarian orphan and was left sipping Ribena.

Elsewhere the Magpie at 12 appears to have left the nest. A few families have moved in from the 'Championship Estate' a couple of miles away and caused a few upsets in August. Even the bitter Jock at No.5 is stalling on taking a job at Tesco's as he's not been able to get the right quality staff. As to our beloved Spanish waiter at No.4 . Well he has been having trouble getting his kids to play out together. Even the new Irish lad he adopted and had great hopes for appears to have lost his toy gun and won't shoot. Despite all that he is currently looking after No.2 in the street and also looking forward to a few trips to Spain, France and Holland for a midweek break. The likeable Spaniard almost lost his passport in Belgium but then one of his Dutch kids dug him out of hole last week by picking it up at the last minute. In his spare time he has also been on local radio discussing 'butties' ..............But there is always the looming problem of the American landlords ..

[AnfieldFaithFul]

Lol a good read.

What happened to the original though? It surely cant have been deleted?!?!

[IsvanCostmore]

The original was stored in my favorites at http://forums.liverpoolfc.tv/showthr...655#post428655

But it's gone

I guess the mods have to clear up the server every so often. Or maybe a fault developed.

But we can keep another one going it was a great laugh last season.

[IsvanCostmore]

Shameless bump ...in hope that those former posters to the original thread will contribute as well...............

One of the residents at the bottom of the street in the Claret & Blue house (...no the other one, the leprechaun has a kind American landlord) has decided to leave before he gets evicted. Apparently he wanted to shop in Iceland but got fed up when he was told what to buy in there. He's now frozen out.......meanwhile the magpie has not returned to it's nest at No. 12 but there is still hope that all is not lost despite one of his kids ending up in borstal for GBH earlier this year. His fat Geordie landlord "Duncan Disorderly" is too drunk to notice much at the moment though.

In foreign news a former resident of the street ,who left for a theatrical job on International Avenue but was sacked for his poor performance in 'Mary Poppins' has now become the 'Shpecial One' at No. Twente Dutch Crescent and is fluent in Double Dutch. Shplendid !

[FlatBackFour]

Searched for orig and found this and

Aye up Flabby, great work. Let's hope this thread is the King Kenny improvement to the Mighty Mouse that preceeded it.

Need to put brain in gear first though.

Hopefully Yankfield and the others will adopt this accordingly. Plenty of material to work with considering City, Newcastle, the Bitters etc.

Let alone our temporary occupation of house number 2.

[smokintony]

Number 23 won the lottery and brought a brand new car nicer than anyone else's on the street, Number 28 is complaining saying that lottery winners shouldn't be allowed to by new cars because it will destroy the street

[Paulag]

The Welsh tenant of the "Eastlands" house has suddenly changed his mood. He had a very unpleasant little break in Denmark which only got better towards the time to come home when one of his boys called Joey stopped the Danish lads from taking the tickets for his future excursions. Since then, he has wecomed back one of the old boys who had a few difficult years in the Russian House with the Portugese and then Israeli tenants. Then he was told that his new landlords would make his property the best on the block and told him to expect a new class of lads who would outshine the grumpy Glaswegian's group. Since then the Welsh guy has been standing by the petrol station, telling all the motorists when they fill up that they are supporting his house.
This has shocked the whole road - the theatrical agent who owned last year's number 5 is attempting to stage an updated version of the Desert Song in the hope of attracting a billionaire new landlord.

[IsvanCostmore]

Thanks guys......and let's try to keep the posts coming. It was such a laugh last season but I can't remember who started it ? So if you do . Or if it was you let us know ?

[Kopite1990]

I don't really remember the last one...can someone explain what its about pleeeeassssseeeeeeeeeee...

[tweepie]

YAY!!! It's back.
I was searching for the other one the other day and couldn't find it.

Well done flabbyAlonso for resurrecting it, rep for you. And great first addition to it.

[Jannno]

Four Houses Down My Street... Jan-Aug 2008 Summary. PART ONE

I did a summary of the main posts of last year to send to a mate, so here it is if anybody would like it for reference. Have tidied up repetitions (and left in all of my work of course!)

January 2008.
....its a row of Victorian terraces. Well, in the first house lives this really grumpy Jock. He’s been there about 20 years and made a lovely job of doing it up, despite it looking like a real dump for the first few years. Next door to him there used to be a really gobby Portuguese tenant. Fortunately the Russian landlord threw the gobby git out for whingeing about the standard of decoration expected. Apparently, it wasn’t flamboyant enough for the Russian’s tastes. The Jewish guy who has moved in seems like a decent bloke, it’s just the false ‘Jack and Vera’ style cladding I can’t stand. At number 3 is a quiet French bloke. He looks a bit freaky and spends a lot of time with the immigrant kids. At number four is a Spanish waiter, who’s been there a few years.

According to the barmaid in the Uppin Arms, unfortunately the Spanish guy’s house has been neglected for 15yrs or so, and whilst the Jock has been adding his latest media centre, under floor heating, jacuzzi, sauna, landscaped gardens and a state of the art security system, the Spanish waiter had to spend his money rewiring the original electrics, putting in double glazing, fixing the roof and putting in a reliable boiler. She says the Jock and the Portuguese guy shop in Harrods and Marks and Sparks, the French guy at Waitrose and Africa. The poor Spanish guy is on waiter’s wages and has to make do with Asda most of the time.
People then mock him because his table doesn’t look as appealing as the other guys’. The Spaniard does have some rare cups in his display cabinet, none of which the Frenchman’s family have ever been able to get their hands on, whilst the Portuguese only has one to his name and the Scot has two, including one obtained at the very last minute. The Spaniard is very attached to all these cups, four of which he inherited and the other one he acquired himself. It takes pride of place in his lounge cabinet, albeit with a dent in the handle. Such is the emotional value of these cups that the Scot has been obsessed with grabbing at least a third before he retires. However, it is well documented that the Scot will not succeed, because the Spaniard has already sought out the location of an even rarer, Cupski, in Eastern Europe, and has already prepared a place for it in his display cabinet when he collects it off the supplier in May.

The street was agog today with the news that the new landlord of number 14, known as ‘The Magpies’ had evicted his tenant, Fat Sam, himself a new arrival. Fat Sam recently moved from a grubby 2 up 2 down in Bolton, and has been making frequent deranged outbursts, once claiming that the street would respect him more if he was foreign like most of the other residents. Who the next tenant will be is unclear as The Magpies is in need of massive upgrading and it is reputed that an old gypsy called ‘Supermac’ put a curse on it many years ago so that nobody who lives there remains for long.
Many years before the Spaniard moved in there used to be continual fights between the Jock’s kids and the Frenchman’s kids. When the local constabulary interviewed them the Frenchman had failed to see any of the incidents and the Jock will still not talk to the authorities to this day.

All the guys on the street are also nervous about going away and leaving their wives since a Swedish guy moved in. He is apparently maitre d’ at the Thai restaurant on the High Street. The Swede caused a bit of a kerfuffle last night as he was loitering outside the Spanish waiter’s house because he heard that a new piece of Skirtl was moving in and he fancied his chances.
It would appear that while the Spaniard was stuck up a ladder cleaning the rear guttering “focussing on maintenance and cleaning” as requested by the landlord, the landlord’s agent was apparently offering the lease to some German bloke. The Spaniard’s landlords are causing mischief on the street, and the deal to sell to some Arabian Knights was almost made but contracts were not exchanged. The poor Spanish tenant doesn’t know where he is from one day to the next. It has come to the Spaniard’s attention that there is a rift between the two landlords, one of whom wants to refurbish the house and build a new major extension to make it more comfortable for the tenant, and the other one who wants to sell it on quick for a profit. The street was awash with gossip today as someone has seen the Arabian Knights in the Uppin Arms drinking coffee and speaking on their mobiles to the landlords.
The Real Slim Shady Dealer.

In a further twist, the previous landlord of number 4, Freddie Boswell, has been seen drowning his sorrows in the local boozer. He was last seen shouting from the rooftops his regret at selling his house and saying “I shouldn’t have let any Tom, DIC or Parry talk me into it!”
Fat Sam hasn’t been seen since he was evicted from ‘The Magpies’ and Flash ‘Arry from down the street has kept his gob shut since the bizzies gave him a visit, and the new tenant of ‘The Magpies’, a Mr KK, is said to be heading for a nervous breakdown after a nasty little Cockney ‘Wiseguy’ has been sniffing around the premises. ‘Wiseguy’ has previous and a local cab firm refused to take him from the station as he has a nasty habit of fouling things.
Because of the mortgage problems at number 4, the Spaniard’s close family have decided to club together to buy the house outright just like their cousins did in Barcelona. Although there is great scepticism that they’ll succeed, it’s a big family with some very wealthy relatives.

February 2008.

Change is in the Air.

All the tenants are annoyed that the pied fifa keeps taking their kids away on holidays abroad during term time. The Spaniard seems to come off worst as there always seems to be an important exam on the first day back, and it’s hard to get them to concentrate on their work again. But, the Spaniard thinks if he doesn’t keep moaning he’ll never get the foreign trips put into the school holidays. The whisky nose at the top end of the street is furious because no-one asked his permission for there to be a regular field trip abroad every year, with coursework done on the trip counting towards the end of year exam. Headmaster Mr Sepp Fatter and chief prefect Mr Platitude mocked the idea of the trips and are threatening to ban them. All of the town is in the Uppin Arms and seem to be up in arms.
The Portuguese former tenant of no. 2 ‘Dunchavin’ has been seen on street corners all over town in fishnets and heels, winking at the town’s landlords and asking if they are looking for ‘a good-time tenant’. Every one has driven straight past so far. Also, a weird, clown-like figure has been wandering about complaining about everybody’s washing being hung out in the street, when he was the one who gave all their tumble dryers to some Americans in the first place.
An Italian ice cream parlour owned by a Mr Capello opened on the corner of the street last Wednesday. As soon as Mr Capello learns the language he will tell the customers about the menu, that they are not allowed to wear their flip-flops in the shop, and that they must leave their dogs tied up on the hook outside as their wagging tails keep knocking the ice creams over. A lot of the English kids were pushing to get served on the first day, and a little kid called Michael in a black and white striped top kept getting pushed to the back and never did get served in the end. Mr Capello wouldn’t serve Fat Frankie, and told him to stay at home and get better (ie thinner) before he can have any ice cream.
Mr Capello has told the English kids that if they keep coming in to his shop and building up loyalty points they can enter a competition to win a giant Cornetto in 2010. That’s if Mr Capello doesn’t get fed up with having his windows smashed by local journalists by then, and hasn’t gone home to open a parlour back in Italy.

The pool at number 4 was used for a re-enactment of Pearl Harbour and cries of Torres! Torres! Torres! were heard from Japanese tourists who dropped in to see it for the day. They were treated to some truly Kamikaze behaviour by the visitors from the neighbouring Boro’ of Middleshire.
The Spaniard’s absentee landlords decided to send their foppish lackey, Co-Co Parry to the local newspaper office to announce in the local rag, the Daily Prem, that the Loan Arranger and Tonto had negotiated the purchase of an Argentine masterpiece, known as ‘The Mascherano’. However, most of the residents were a little nonplussed at this as it had been hanging up at the Spanish waiter’s house for months. This was seen as another smokescreen to delude the Spaniard into believing that Vatman and Robbing really were going to build him the promised extension.
The weasel-faced Mr Gollum from the ‘Bittersuite’ at number 5, is once again boasting about his first proper trip to Continental Europe and shouting to anyone who can be bothered to listen that they will be visiting the continent many times in the future as it is where they belong. The other geek, the French professor from no 3 has been seen in Specsavers, taking advantage of their ‘Buy-one-get-one-free’ offer for February, although reports that he had asked for them in rose tints were unconfirmed.
Poor Mr KK at ‘The Magpies’ was last seen entering a mental health clinic muttering “Loov it, just loov it’, whilst a demented voice from inside was heard yelling “Way aye, Boss........It’s me........Gazza............gorreny Mars bars?”
The Arabian investor put in a huge bid for the American landlords’ house today, much to the concern of the Spanish tenant. However, the potential sale is at an impasse and there is lots of confusion at number 4.
cont........

[Jannno]

PART TWO.....

March 2008.

Doggone!!

The Spaniard’s pet bulldog, Masher, has unfortunately had to be muzzled after worrying a little lamb in a Manchester field. Masher was only playing and not trying to cause any harm but the lamb panicked and Farmer Hackett reported Masher to the authorities as he didn’t want them to think he was a wimp. The Spaniard is going to appeal as Masher is a very loyal pet and is not in the same league as dangerous dogs like the Russian’s Terryer and the Mancrat.
On a brighter note, it was French-themed quiz night at Mr Capello’s ice cream parlour this week. As before, all of the English kids had their noses pressed up to the window waiting for opening time. Mr Capello let little Rio lead the rest of the other kids in first, because he felt sorry for him as he is not very bright and keeps forgetting what time the shop opens. Baby Terry stayed in the corner crying because he had wanted to come in first, so Mr Capello sent him home half way through for being a spoilt brat. Rio’s favourite ice cream is Frilly Knickerbocker Glory, he recommended it to Frankie who ate twelve of them, and then couldn’t stay as he had to go home to bed with stomach ache. Cousin Becks flew in from America specially to pick up his award of 100 air miles for being a loyal customer. Everybody laughed at his new shiny shoes.
The quiz night started well with the English kids doing OK, but then Calamity James cheated French Nic and had to forfeit points. After that things went downhill a bit, and as there had not been enough tables for all the contestants, they had a second sitting, but the new lot couldn’t answer the questions either. Little Michael was annoying everybody running around in between the tables so Mr Capello made him serve behind the counter as he has experience of trying to make sense of barcodes.
There are hushed whispers in the Uppin Arms that the Arabian Knights have been seen in the neighbourhood in disguise. No-one dares talk of it in case they jinx their plans to get planning permission to build the Spaniard’s new extension. Shhhhhhhh.....

Poker Night.

The nutty French professor from no 3 and the Spaniard held a poker night last week. Many people gathered to watch the tense encounter, although the Spaniard’s henchmen were arguing because there weren’t enough tickets to go around. The Frenchman played with his usual flourish, showing off some sublime moves, but the Spaniard played a cagey game as he has an excellent poker face. The Frenchman put all his cards on the table from the outset so everyone watching could see how confident he was. But his cards turned out to be of a lower order than he expected and the Spaniard refused to be intimidated and played his cards shrewdly. The Frenchman was left frustrated, and furiously accused the Spaniard of cheating, and of having the banker in his pocket. The Frenchman insisted on a re-match so he could win his money back and the Spaniard said “For sure, I look forward to the next game”.
On Saturday they met again. A bitter malformed hobbit was found pressing his nose against the window hoping to get in, but he was told he is not allowed in the big boys’ game, and that there’s one more suited to his skills at the lower end of the street. This time they laid on a cabaret and the tall man on stilts stole the show. Pepe the Juggler appeared, although he is hoping to resume his previous long running act of Human Brick Wall very soon. In a wild west act, Hannibal Hicks rode in and lassoed Co-Co the clown shouting at him, ‘I’ll be taking over this whole show soon, I can do the clown act as well as you can’. The show’s investors stood in the wings shaking their heads.
As the night drew on, the Frenchman found himself matched by the crafty Spaniard again, and by the time the Spaniard played his red ace, the Frenchman’s hand had been shown to be no more than just a busted flush. This time the Frenchman really lost it, waving his arms around wildly towards the end and again accusing the Spaniard of cheating. The Spaniard was asked if he was pleased with the result. He smiled and said ‘For sure, I look forward to the next game’.......

April 2008.

The geeky French bloke was still moaning about the Spanish waiters kids, almost calling them `thieving urchins` as he went to lunch at the whisky soaked alky at No 1 last week.....only to come away even more hungry.

Talking of the present economic problems and the `credit crunch’, a rumour has spread in the Uppin Arms that the absentee Landlords of No 4, the Loan Arranger and Tonto, are once again threatening to come to blows over their chief lackey Coco, and are furious that the banks are refusing to lend any more money to build the much vaunted extension at No 4, and could possibly make an appearance at the party next week for Baron Greenback and his home for fallen, gay youths.
The Arabian Knights, however, are so disgusted with the unseemly squabbling amongst the landlords and their cronies that they are apparently looking to purchase a property on the Italian Mediterranean instead of wasting their time trying to buy No 4,
This news has further incensed the punters of the Uppin Arms and they are apparently only too eager to meet the absentee landlords in person at Tuesdays `do’, and vent their feelings on the subject.

August 2008

The Wigwam.

It was another jolly night down at The Wigwam, the pub at the end of Premier League Street. The locals were enjoying a drink and the banter when, in came a group of rowdies who started shouting so the locals couldn’t hear SSN on the tv in the corner. When they started chanting offensive slogans against Spaniards, at first the locals ignored them, but it didn’t make any difference. Soon nobody could hear themselves speak.
Some of the locals tried answering their abusive remarks and arguing their point, but it made the rowdies repeat it all the more, and now they were butting into conversations and really in people’s faces.
A couple of the regulars complained to the landlord, so he went over and quietly asked them to stop annoying the other customers, but the ringleader stood up and said “I’ve bought my drink and this is a public house, so leave off!” The landlord shrugged at the locals defensively.
Some of the regulars had had enough, so they finished their drinks and left saying, “It’s not the same in this pub any more, I’d rather stay in, I get a lot less grief from the wife and kids. It’s as bad as the SixOSix and you don’t even have to pay to get in there”.
The rowdies were loovin it so they got out their phones and called their mates in the Mancs Arms down the road “Come over here, you can have a great laugh!” This happened night after night.
After a while, the only people going in The Wigwam were the rowdies. The football and quiz teams were disbanded, same with the book club which used to meet in the back room. But that left nobody for the rowdies to wind up and it wasn’t a laugh any more. So they decided to go and see if there was any fun to be had across town at The Bitter Hobbit.
And they wonder why all the pubs are closing down.

Armed Siege at No 6.

Police were hopeful of an end to an armed siege at No6 last night, as Madman O’Neill, the landlord of ‘The Villa’ looked to be ready to concede that his tug-of-love kidnapping of his boy, Gazbaz, was all but over, and that he would have to give him up.

Last month, Social Services had to be called to the house, as Madman has been acting more and more irrationally, and the boy kept trying to run away from home to go and live with his mate Stevie at no4. Madman had agreed to let Gazbaz go, but at the last minute seemed to realise what he was losing so he took Gazbaz hostage. With a gun held to the boy’s head and drunk on the attention, Madman shouted wild statements from the window to the media and the police that ‘that Spaniard’ had enticed his boy away from his rightful home, and he wasn’t letting him go for less than 18million and a getaway car.

It is rumoured that an American people trafficker known as Big Randy might be behind this, as there is big money to be made from trading talented kids, but Madman insists he only has Gazbaz’s interests at heart.

The police, led by the expert negotiating skills of CoCo Plod, became more confident as the day drew on that they would get the boy out. “You are surrounded and out-gunned” shouted Co-Co into his megaphone, “There’s no way you can get out of this.
A bystander said, “He’s just made an idiot of himself really, I feel sorry for the other kids at The Villa. I wouldn’t be surprised if more of them wanted to get out after this.”

[ThirdPaul]

Apologies for the disruption to the community newspaper recently. That nice chap from Speke who types it up has lost some back issues. He's searching for them but might not find them.

[IsvanCostmore]

Don Fabio ,in charge of national education, took a lot of kids from the street on a geography trip to Croatia. If you remember a couple of years ago a similar trip was organised by a former 'umbrella tester' & resident of the street (now living abroad at Twente Dutch Cresshent) and ended in deep embarrassment and tears. This time however the trip was a lot more successful with the Frenchman's only English stepson coming back with 3 gold stars for his shining work.

Back on the street the sour Scotsman had been planning another daylight robbery at the Spaniard's home in the early sunshine of Saturday afternoon having got away with it for many years in the past. It even looked like it was going neatly to plan when his Argentinian orphan found a space at the back of Spaniard's fence and crept in. However it all went horrendously wrong when two of his lads dropped a clanger and they were caught red handed. One of the American landlords even turned up to collect the rent and mentioned how he hates "scum" who try to wreck other people's lives in an attempt to obtain more silver than his tenant by stealing.

Elsewhere the new boys from Championship street ruffled the magpies nest a bit more without completely removing it and the Arab owned house down the street was full to capacity when the Brazilian guys clan from No.2 popped round to enjoy some Ribena. They drank the place dry despite one of the Brazilian's lads getting sent home early for trying to pull and leaving him lying on the ground.

[IsvanCostmore]

And today we are about to see if Gollum and his hobbits from No.5 can get anything from a visit to the Britannia Building Society. It may mean they can pay for a new extension next to the local Tesco.

[ThirdPaul]

^...

[FlatBackFour]

Despite the global credit crunch and UK housing market worries it appears the Spaniard is on the move. Abandoning number 4 in pursuit of number 1.

In a tough market and with outside cash being pumped into less spectacular houses the Spaniard seems to be making shrewd bids in this years auction.

The addled Jock formerly at number 1, has already lost a bid for building materials as he and his charges fell asleep and got gazumped by some tireless work by some particularily Keane work men.

The local Chavs still managed to fend off a brief attack from a new gang on the block. Identification of the new group wasn't easy as most had their faces hidden behind Arabian style face wear. But from beneath the disguises 'veiled' threats of we're going to be Robbingyou were heard.

In a particularily ugly encounter on Sunday much pottery was broken in a bitter attack. Gollum and his Good sons claimed to have ruled Brittania but those in the know saw it as nothing more than making a mountain out of a Cahill.

Off to The Uppin' Arms for gossip and a pint of Red Riera - it gives you wings.

[Liverdinner]

^...

sorry for asking but what does that actually mean as a response?

[SGBE]

sorry for asking but what does that actually mean as a response?

A bump?

[Liverdinner]

A bump?

cheers in nearly 4k posts havent picked up a thing

[tweepie]

After inviting the new boys to El Anfield the other week, where after the party the Spaniard's urchins were left red-faced and out of pocket, the long awaited Hallowe'en Derby dance is on the horizon.
It was decided to have the party a few weeks early this year. With the economic slow down and recession looming it was felt that inflation would affect even the price of food and drink from the local Tescos. The earlier they could have the party, the better.
The costumes for this year's party will be a mix of traditional and those from the modern film. The tennant of 'Good I Son' cottage, is saving on his costume by dressing as the same character from a modern movie trilogy that he has gone as for the past 6 years. Other residents will dress up as various different characters such as a klingon, an australian bush baby, a Yak and a particularly horrible manx cat who looks more like a rat.

The Spaniard's costume will consist of a traditional shirt and suit combo. His urchins will arrive as various characters. One urchin, the kid will dress as the weather phenomenon El Nino, and looks to demonstrate his devastatinf skills. Another, Irish urchin with a cheeky grin wanted to dress as a leprechaun but the spaniard wasn't too 'Keane'. He settled for dressing as a ghost. The Slovakian said he was too tough to dress up as anything, and nobody was going to argue with that.
All said, it looks set to be an exciting party.

[Jannno]

As part of a new reality TV series, the Spanish waiter has taken his hard working and well mannered kids to live at the top of the street to set an example to the graceless and dishonest families living there, in the hope that the image of the street can be improved.

So far, the Spaniard’s kids have shown themselves to be hard working and modest, politely greeting everybody they meet and never boasting about their achievements. The Spaniard is very proud of them.

The Chav family next door are already feeling uncomfortable. They have stopped swaggering around the neighbourhood rattling their jewellery, but their Brazilian dad says “We are not fazed by these visitors, we can live with them.”

Conversely, the Alky Jock and his appallingly behaved brood have been evicted down to the House of Tiny Tearaways at number 6, and other children are not allowed to play with them until they can learn how to behave with class and humility. Baby Ronnie had to be dragged there, kicking and screaming “I deserve to be at the top, what more could I do?”

Now that the Jock’s awful kids have moved in next door, Flash ‘Arry from number 7 wasted no time moving in with the Hot Tottie at the White Hart, saying he needed a bit of a thrill, “I couldn’t stand any more of those deep intense conversations with my partner about what we should do every day.”
Wonder how long it will take for the novelty to wear off there.

Stay tuned to see how all parties adapt to their new life.

[FlatBackFour]

As part of a new reality TV series, the Spanish waiter has taken his hard working and well mannered kids to live at the top of the street to set an example to the graceless and dishonest families living there, in the hope that the image of the street can be improved.

So far, the Spaniard’s kids have shown themselves to be hard working and modest, politely greeting everybody they meet and never boasting about their achievements. The Spaniard is very proud of them.

The Chav family next door are already feeling uncomfortable. They have stopped swaggering around the neighbourhood rattling their jewellery, and their Portuguese dad says “We are not fazed by these visitors, we can live with them.”

Conversely, the Alky Jock and his appallingly behaved brood have been evicted down to the House of Tiny Tearaways at number 6, and other children are not allowed to play with them until they can learn how to behave with class and humility. Baby Ronnie had to be dragged there, kicking and screaming “I deserve to be at the top, what more could I do?”

Now that the Jock’s awful kids have moved in next door, Flash ‘Arry from number 7 wasted no time moving in with the Hot Tottie at the White Hart, saying he needed a bit of a thrill, “I couldn’t stand any more of those deep intense conversations with my partner about what we should do every day.”
Wonder how long it will take for the novelty to wear off there.

Stay tuned to see how all parties adapt to their new life.

[tweepie]

[tweepie]

We've moved into number 1 and nobody wants to post about it!

What a fine house it is too, though in need of some redecorating... the remnants of previous tennants are still there... tartan cutains, old whiskey stains, french garlic, a 'special one' doll.. and some strange tarnished perch with a bird faintly etched into it... unfortunately it has been neglected for nearly 20 years and has evidence of tampering... a crude devil shape has been graffiteed over it.. but with a bit of patience and hard work the spaniard should get it gleeming again.

[ajaxheart]

We've moved into number 1 and nobody wants to post about it!

What a fine house it is too, though in need of some redecorating... the remnants of previous tennants are still there... tartan cutains, old whiskey stains, french garlic, a 'special one' doll.. and some strange tarnished perch with a bird faintly etched into it... unfortunately it has been neglected for nearly 20 years and has evidence of tampering... a crude devil shape has been graffiteed over it.. but with a bit of patience and hard work the spaniard should get it gleeming again.

Brilliant

[IsvanCostmore]

We've moved into number 1 and nobody wants to post about it!

What a fine house it is too, though in need of some redecorating... the remnants of previous tennants are still there... tartan cutains, old whiskey stains, french garlic, a 'special one' doll.. and some strange tarnished perch with a bird faintly etched into it... unfortunately it has been neglected for nearly 20 years and has evidence of tampering... a crude devil shape has been graffiteed over it.. but with a bit of patience and hard work the spaniard should get it gleeming again.

Was there also a small , dusty,but significant picture of a king holding a trophy at his hallowed ground still in there too ?

LOL! I'd lost my link to this after investing in a new PC . Thank for reviving it . I'm sure we can keep this going through the season now !


have some rep

[21psycho12]

this weekend the spanish waiter at no 1 has invited a new comer this season to the street for brunch on saturday.
he has however given mr. brown one condition for when he arrives at number 1, and that is for him to leave his pet tiger's at home.
the spanish waiter heard through the grape vine that when mr brown was invited earlier on in the year to his french neighbours house, he brought his pets with him, and the tigers ran riot, up setting not only the frenchie but also the co. council.
the spanish waiter has warned mr. brown that un-like the frenchie he has no problem in using his armoury and putting an end to his pet's high flying life on the street.
so in doing so the spanish waiter has told all his staff members to shoot on sight, and to take no prisoners

[Zombster]

There's been some uneasy days down the street lately.

Firstly a young Dutch kid at No1 was upset about life in the street and wanted to join an exchange program. The Spanish waiter wasn't best pleased when he heard about it and quickly denied the request to join the program. Saying that the Dutch kid needed to stick to his 'bread and butter' and didn't need any education in 'red lights' and 'sticky green'.

Later on a field trip to the country of the exchange program the Dutch kid and the new Irish lad seemed to be on quite different planets and the Irish kid certainly was'nt best pleased with the Dutch kid's 'games'.

'Red Nose' took his kids on a more or less disasterous field trip to Denmark were his kids were almost given a good hiding by some unknown Danish kids. The Scot was not best pleased with his kids, but blamed everyone else, apart from his kids, as usual.

The Frenchman also had a bad few days thisd week. firstly one of his kids were abused by the public when shown to them and later put inside again, to let him hide from the useless abusers. He then took his kids on a morale boosting field trip to Portugal which ended in all tears as the youngest of the kids got their behinds wiped by some local scallys.

More to folllow......................

[Jannno]

Good one psycho. Are you Stuart Pearce by any chance?

(and you too Zombster!)