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Aleister Crowley,black magician and mystic,died 1947 - his autobiographical Confessions concludes with the following
"What may befall,I know not,and I have almost ceased to care.It is enough that I should press towards the mark of my high calling,secure in the magical virtue of my oath:"
"I shall endure unto the end."
Sir Walter Ralegh,Elizabethan courtier,poet and explorer,beheaded 1618
"So the heart be right,it is no matter which way the head lieth."
I wonder where its mother is?
Anonymous,of Louis B. Mayer,Hollywood mogul,died 1957
"The only reason so many people attended his funeral was that they wanted to make sure he was dead."
David Garrick,English actor and dramatist,died 1779
"Oh,dear . . . . ."
They wouldn't dare . . . . .
Anonymous,unsuccessful actor,suicide
"I tried so hard to make a comeback. Exit,Act lll."
Manolete,bullfighter,killed in the ring 1947
"I can't feel anything in my right leg.I can't feel anything in my left leg.Doctor,are my eyes open? I can't see!"
Come on,I'm a very good driver . . . . .
Lionel Barrymore,son of American actor Maurice Barrymore who died in 1905 - as the straps lowering his father's coffin became twisted and the coffin had to be raised again to adjust them
"How like Father - a curtain call."
Lytton Strachey,biographer and critic,died 1932
"If this is dying,I don't think much of it."
Can we not drop our weapons and talk about this?
Margaret,daughter of King James l of Scotland,died 1445
"Death! Don't talk to me about it any more."
Charlie Starkweather,mass murderer,electrocuted 1959 - asked if he would donate his eyes to medicine,replied
"Hell no! No one ever did anything for me.Why in hell should I do anything for anyone else?"
I'm just going to have a look in here . . . . .
Lope Felix de ega Carpio,Spanish playwright and poet,died 1635
"All right,I'll say it.Dante makes me sick!"
George lV,King of England,died 1830 - to his page,Sir Walter Waller
"Wally,what is this? it is death,my boy.They have deceived me."
I've seen them do this on TV . . . . .
Jimmy Glass,executed by electric chair 1987
"I'd rather be fishing."
Jugurtha,King of Numidia,died in a freezing underground cell 104 BC
"Oh Hercules! How cold your bath is!"
You don't have the guts to kill me . . . . .
Lionel Herrera,executed by lethal injection 1993
"I am innocent,innocent,innocent.Make no mistake about this.I owe society nothing.I am an innocent man and something very wrong is taking place tonight."
Fritz Sauckel,Nazi war criminal,hanged 1946
"I pay my respects to American officers and American soldiers,but not to American justice."
Have you got a match?
Dr Alexander Blackwell,physician,printer and adventurer,beheaded 1747 -upon being corrected by the executioner for having put his head on the wrong side of the block
"I'm sorry for the mistake,but this is the first time I've been beheaded."
Sir James Radcliffe,Third Earl of Derwen****er,Jacobite rebel,beheaded 1716 - to his executioner
"I am but a poor man.There's ten guineas for you.If I had more I would give it to you.I desire you to do your office so as to put me to the least misery you can."
It won't take me a moment . . . . .
W. Somerset Maugham,English writer and playwright,died 1965
"Dying is a very dull,dreary affair.And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it."
Melvin Fuller,American jurist,died 1910
"I am very ill."
Hey,I know you.Wasn't you on Crimewatch last week?
Plotinus,Neoplatonic philosopher,died AD 270
"I am making my last effort to return that which is divin in me to that which is divine in the universe."
Simon de Montfort,Earl of Leicester,English soldier and politician,killed at the Battle of Evesham 1265
"Commend your souls to God,for our bodies are the foe's."
Are you sure it's not loaded?
Lucillio Vanini,Italian philosopher,burned as a heretic 1619
"There is neither God nor devil: for if there were a God,I would pray him to send a thunderbolt on the council,as all that is unjust and iniquitious; and if there were a devil I would pray him to engulf them in the subterranean regions; but since there is neither one nor the other,there is nothing for me to do."
Wilson Mizner,Hollywood wit,died 1933 - to his priest
"Why should I talk to you ? I've just been talking to your boss."
Wow,you are really UGLY!
Brendan Behan,Irish playwright,died 1964 - to a nun who was taking his pulse just before he died
"Bless you,Sister.May all your sons be bishops!"
Monsignor Ronald Knox,British religious writer,died 1957 - declining,when asked if he would like to hear a reading from his version of the Bible
"Awfully jolly of you to suggest it though."
I love playing Russian roulette! I've never lost yet!
Rufus W. Griswold,Edgar Allan Ppe's literary executor,died 1857
"Sir,I may not have been always a Christian,but I am very sure that I have been a gentleman."
Henry the Lion,Duke of Saxony and Bavaria,died 1195
"God be merciful to me,a sinner."
OK,go ahead and make my day . . . . .
W. C. Fields,American actor and wit,died 1946
- when observed flicking through the Bible on his deathbed
"I'm looking for a loophole."
Karla Faye Tucker Brown,executed by lethal injection 1998
"I am going to be face to face with Jesus now . . . . . I love you all very much.I will see you all when you get there . . . . . I will wait for you."
I think it'll take my weight . . . . .
Vespasian,Roman emperor,died AD 79
"Woe is me,I think I am becoming a God."
Baruch Spinoza,Dutch philosopher,died 1677
"God have mercy upon me and be gracious to me - a miserable sinner."
These pills are pretty small.I think I should take a few extra just to be sure . . . . .
Captain Frederick Marryat,naval officer,inventor and author,died 1848 - in the nick of time
"After years of casual,and latterly,months of intense thought,I feel convinced that Christianity is true,and the only religion that can be practised on this earth; that the basis of Christianity is love.To attempt to establish any other creed will only,in the end,be folly.But Christianity must be implanted in the breast of youth; there must be a bias towards it given at an early age.It is now half past nine o'clock.World,adieu!"
Ludwig Van Beethoven,German composer,died 1827
"I shall hear in heaven."
Let's get him!
Pietro Perugino,Italian painter,died 1523 - refusing to send for a priest on his deathbed
"I am curious to see what happens in the next world to one who dies unshriven."
They'll never think of looking here . . . . .
Voltaire,French philosopher and writer,died 1778 - refusing,on his deathbed,to forswear the devil
"This is no time to make new enemies."
Coventry Patmore,British poet,died 1896 - propagating a tough love,speaking to his wife
"I love you dear,but the Lord is my life and my light."
That doesn't usually happen . . . . .
James Thurber,American humorist,died 1961 (attributed)
"God bless . . . . . God damn!"
Saint Lawrence,Catholic martyr,died AD 258 - on being burnt alive by the Romans above a gridiron
"Turn me.I am being roasted on one side."
I don't think they've rumbled us . . . . .
Daniel Defoe,British novelist,died 1731
"I do not know which is more difficult in a Christian life - to live well or to die well."
Edith Cavell,British nurse,shot by the Germansas a spy 1915
"I realize that patriotism is not enough.I must have no hatred or bitterness towards anyone."
I hope this isn't a one-way street . . . . .
Anonymous German Spy,shot by the British 1914 - his last letter home
"My Dear Ones,I have trusted in God and He has decided.My hour has come,and I must start my journey through the Dark Valley like so many of my comrades in this terrible war of nations.May my life be offered as a humble offering on the altar of the Fatherland.A hero's death on the battlefield is certainly finer,but such is not to be my lot and I die here in the enemy's country silent and unknown,but the consciousness that I die in the service of the Fatherland maakes death easy.The Supreme Court Martial in London has sentenced me to die for military conspiracy.Tomorrow I shall be shot in the Tower.I have had just Judges and I shall die as an officer,not as a spy.
Farewell
God Bless
Hans"
We've got the all-clear . . . . .
Philip lll, King of Spain,died 1621
"Oh would to God I had never reigned.Oh that those years in my Kingdom I had lived a solitary life in the wilderness.Oh that I had lived with God.How much more secure should I have died.With how much more confidence should I have gone to the throne of God; what doth all my glory profit but that I have so much torment in my death."
Friedrich Froebel,German educator,died 1852 - asking to be taken out into his garden
"My friend.I have peeked at lovly Nature all my life.Permit me to pass my last hours with this enchanting mistress."
You know there's no such thing as vampires .....
Barbara Graham,executed in the gas chamber 1955
"Good people are always so sure they're right."
Marco Polo,Venetian merchant and explorer,died 1324
"I have not told half of what I saw."
I won't fall off . . . . .
William Maxwell Aitken,first Baron Beaverbrook,British press magnate,died 1964 - his last public statement
"This is my final word.It is time for me to become an apprentice once more.I have not settled in which direction.But somewhere,sometime,soon."
Franz Kafka,Czech writer,died 1924 - he asked for all his papers and letters to be burnt
"There will be no proof that I ever was a writer."
Thanks,but I'm not sure a plaster is really going to help . . . . .
David Zeisberger,American missionary,died 1898
"I have reviewed my whole life and found that there is much to be forgiven"
John Spenkelink,executed by electric chair 1979
"Capital punishment: them without the capital get the punishment."
Don't worry,I've done this before .....
W. Graham Robertson,British author,died 1948 - final instructions
"I should like the ashes to be buried or otherwise disposed of at the crematorium,with no tombstone nor inscription to mark the placeof burial.No funeral,no mourning,no flowers.By request.If these arrangements are carried out one may perhaps manage to die without making a public nuisance of oneself."
Cato the Elder,Roman statesman,writer and orator,committed suicide 149 BC
"Shut the door."
Do you think this lift is over-crowded?
Charles Lamb,English essayist,writer and poet,died 1834
"My bedfellows are cramp and cough - we three all in one bed."
Edgar Degas,French painter and sculptor,died 1917
Instructing his fried and fellow painter Jean-Louis Forain about the arrangements for his funeral
"But if there has to be a funeral oration,get up and say,'He greatly loved painting.So do I.' Then go home."
That's odd . . . . .
Erskine Childers,Irish writer and patriot,executed by firing squad 1922
"Come closer ,boys.It'll be easier that way."
Benjamin Hill,US Senator,died 1882
"Almost home."
You wouldn't hit a man with glasses,would you? Er,would you?
Charles ll, King of England,Scotland and Ireland,died 1685 - referring to his mistress,Nell Gwynn
"Let not poor Nelly starve."
Lieutenant Aloysius Schmitt,US Navy Chaplin,killed at Pearl Harbor 1941 - he insisted on being last through the porthole to safety when his ship was bombed by the Japanese,and became stuck
"Go ahead boys,I'm all right."
It must be dead by now,surely?
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