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Thread: What grinds your gears?

  1. #2461  
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    When I travel for work, the airplane, and hotel air con, makes my nose dry and bleed a bit. It really is so annoying, I had to slap Vaseline up it the last few days.
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  2. #2462  
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    Might sound pedantic, may have already been mentioned but, when you allow, and they can see you doing it, another person in from an adjacent lane whilst driving and they don't acknowledge.

    Geez, that winds me up.
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  3. #2463  
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    Quote Originally Posted by AboveUsOnlySky View Post
    Might sound pedantic, may have already been mentioned but, when you allow, and they can see you doing it, another person in from an adjacent lane whilst driving and they don't acknowledge.

    Geez, that winds me up.
    In busy traffic, and traffic is waiting to come in from road on the left, I pause to let one in.... an 'after you' motion of the hand, is usually met with a 'cheers, mate' wave... all good, but as I begin to carry on, a second car barges right up behind the first, with driver determined to make no eye contact, and I have to brake to avoid a prang.

    Now that's annoying.

    Manners cost nowt.
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  4. #2464  
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiddlerDave View Post
    In busy traffic, and traffic is waiting to come in from road on the left, I pause to let one in.... an 'after you' motion of the hand, is usually met with a 'cheers, mate' wave... all good, but as I begin to carry on, a second car barges right up behind the first, with driver determined to make no eye contact, and I have to brake to avoid a prang.

    Now that's annoying.

    Manners cost nowt.
    Middle lane tootlers on a clear motorway. I always undertake them just to make a point. And I look at them too just to rehance the point I'm making. And then I cut in front of them to let know theyre dicks

    When a lane is blocked off or closed and theirs been signs for about 300 miles telling you and some douche always leaves to the last minute to pull in and he's been indicating at a standstill waiting. I never let them in, ever,.
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  5. #2465  
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    Quote Originally Posted by aylesbyred View Post
    Middle lane tootlers on a clear motorway. I always undertake them just to make a point. And I look at them too just to rehance the point I'm making. And then I cut in front of them to let know theyre dicks

    When a lane is blocked off or closed and theirs been signs for about 300 miles telling you and some douche always leaves to the last minute to pull in and he's been indicating at a standstill waiting. I never let them in, ever,.
    God yes,they stay in the wrong lane until they reach a point where it's impossible to go any further and expect you to let them jump to the front of the queue.
    I'd let them sit there until the lane re-opens in three month's time.
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  6. #2466  
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    Quote Originally Posted by aylesbyred View Post
    Middle lane tootlers on a clear motorway. I always undertake them just to make a point. And I look at them too just to rehance the point I'm making. And then I cut in front of them to let know theyre dicks

    When a lane is blocked off or closed and theirs been signs for about 300 miles telling you and some douche always leaves to the last minute to pull in and he's been indicating at a standstill waiting. I never let them in, ever,.
    Ooooh, you're hard man, Ayles.
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  7. #2467  
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiddlerDave View Post
    Ooooh, you're hard man, Ayles.
    unless of course the window comes down and he points showing me a forearm like Popeye at which point of course I give him the surprised face with the 'I didnt see you smile' and wave him in
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  8. #2468  
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    Quote Originally Posted by aylesbyred View Post
    unless of course the window comes down and he points showing me a forearm like Popeye at which point of course I give him the surprised face with the 'I didnt see you smile' and wave him in
    Sound move, that. The better part of valour, and all that.
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  9. #2469  
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiddlerDave View Post
    Sound move, that. The better part of valour, and all that.
    or chicken**** as Mrs Ayles calls it
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  10. #2470  
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    Quote Originally Posted by aylesbyred View Post
    or chicken**** as Mrs Ayles calls it
    That's not fair... you're the driver, you make the judgement call..... eg; 'Is he bigger/stronger/younger/faster than me?'
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  11. #2471  
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    Quote Originally Posted by aylesbyred View Post
    Middle lane tootlers on a clear motorway. I always undertake them just to make a point. And I look at them too just to rehance the point I'm making. And then I cut in front of them to let know theyre dicks

    When a lane is blocked off or closed and theirs been signs for about 300 miles telling you and some douche always leaves to the last minute to pull in and he's been indicating at a standstill waiting. I never let them in, ever,.
    Totally agree with you on this because I'm the same.
    I used to cross the Mersey using Runcorn bridge years ago. There was always a queue trying to get onto the slip road coming back towards Liverpool in rush hour, and loads of people used to drive down the outside lane to try to cut in at the front of the queue.
    Preventing people pushing in front of me became a source of entertainment and not a single car managed to do it in over 6 years.
    Childish I know but it was fun.
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  12. #2472  
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrDilkington View Post
    Yea, they make money on the phone calls, well they used to when I was at uni and the question came on half way through supermarket sweep !!

    An example question from the advert break of a TV quiz show today.
    Where is the main location for TV program Eastenders?.
    The options were-
    Albert Circle
    Albert Triangle
    Albert Square.

    FFS.
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  13. #2473  
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohnnyZidane View Post
    Totally agree with you on this because I'm the same.
    I used to cross the Mersey using Runcorn bridge years ago. There was always a queue trying to get onto the slip road coming back towards Liverpool in rush hour, and loads of people used to drive down the outside lane to try to cut in at the front of the queue.
    Preventing people pushing in front of me became a source of entertainment and not a single car managed to do it in over 6 years.
    Childish I know but it was fun.
    Good man
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  14. #2474  
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohnnyZidane View Post
    An example question from the advert break of a TV quiz show today.
    Where is the main location for TV program Eastenders?.
    The options were-
    Albert Circle
    Albert Triangle
    Albert Square.

    FFS.
    Mrs Ayles rang me at work once all excited, she'd rung in to this show on the telly and managed to actually get on, some obscure channel and she almost won five grand and she was ringing to tell me all excited like that she'd almost won five grand and she was going on about these dead easy questions she had to answer to almost win the five grand which would have solved a lot of problems as we were skint at the time.

    Turns out the question she lost on was so easy an amoeba could let have got it wrong

    Turns out to have been an expensive call as not only did we not win five grand we also got a bill for £367 on the phone as it was a premium number so this almost winning five grand cost me nearly four hundred quid

    Turns out Mrs Ayles is a ****
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  15. #2475  
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    Stupid car colours.

    Grey-browns of various shades abound. Cow-poo colours.

    Saw a car today that was a warm pale grey… exactly the shade of mushroom soup.

    To think that somewhere there's bound to be a 'Next Season Colours' committee, that meets to consider seriously those colours that will appeal to the new car buyers out there. There's a lot of money at stake, and yet…

    'So the vote's unanimous, then. Next Season's colours will be… Midnight Blue, Shiny Silver, Plain Boring White, Ominous Black, Cow Poo, Mushroom Soup, Mould, Scab, Vomit and Decay.'
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  16. #2476  
    kas74 is online now First team regular
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiddlerDave View Post
    Stupid car colours.

    Grey-browns of various shades abound. Cow-poo colours.

    Saw a car today that was a warm pale grey… exactly the shade of mushroom soup.

    To think that somewhere there's bound to be a 'Next Season Colours' committee, that meets to consider seriously those colours that will appeal to the new car buyers out there. There's a lot of money at stake, and yet…

    'So the vote's unanimous, then. Next Season's colours will be… Midnight Blue, Shiny Silver, Plain Boring White, Ominous Black, Cow Poo, Mushroom Soup, Mould, Scab, Vomit and Decay.'
    'Vomit' is quite a popular colour for cars,nowhere near as popular as 'Luminous Snot' but that's only to be expected.
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  17. #2477  
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    Quote Originally Posted by kas74 View Post
    'Vomit' is quite a popular colour for cars,nowhere near as popular as 'Luminous Snot' but that's only to be expected.
    As part of her job, a cousin of mine had the interesting task of naming the whole colour range for a large paint company.

    She had to go along with the long-standing practice of 'naice' names… choosing stuff like 'Azure Dream' 'Hot Biscuit' 'Frangipani Gold' and all that sort of nonsense, but she did try to subvert the process by introducing some questionable ones... unfortunately, they were spotted and weeded out.
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  18. #2478  
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiddlerDave View Post
    As part of her job, a cousin of mine had the interesting task of naming the whole colour range for a large paint company.

    She had to go along with the long-standing practice of 'naice' names… choosing stuff like 'Azure Dream' 'Hot Biscuit' 'Frangipani Gold' and all that sort of nonsense, but she did try to subvert the process by introducing some questionable ones... unfortunately, they were spotted and weeded out.
    I can understand names like 'Faded Gold' but stuff like 'Moonlight Symphony' makes as much sense as 'Contraceptive Dawn'.
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  19. #2479  
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    Quote Originally Posted by kas74 View Post
    I can understand names like 'Faded Gold' but stuff like 'Moonlight Symphony' makes as much sense as 'Contraceptive Dawn'.
    Those two are connected.
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  20. #2480  
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiddlerDave View Post
    Those two are connected.
    I know,both part of the 'Fifty Shades' range.
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  21. #2481  
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    Quote Originally Posted by kas74 View Post
    I know,both part of the 'Fifty Shades' range.
    Are we allowed small frissons of sexual innuendo in here?
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  22. #2482  
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiddlerDave View Post
    Are we allowed small frissons of sexual innuendo in here?
    You've gone and done it now Dave.
    'Innuendo' indeed.
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  23. #2483  
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    Quote Originally Posted by kas74 View Post
    You've gone and done it now Dave.
    'Innuendo' indeed.
    Shamed and humiliated.

    Story of my life, really.

    I'll slink off, now....
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  24. #2484  
    kas74 is online now First team regular
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiddlerDave View Post
    Shamed and humiliated.

    Story of my life, really.

    I'll slink off, now....
    Yeah,go and stand in the corner and think about what you've done.
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  25. #2485  
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    Quote Originally Posted by kas74 View Post
    Yeah,go and stand in the corner and think about what you've done.
    How far back should i go?
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  26. #2486  
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    I just bought some paint shade called 'Gentle Fawn'. Can you guess what colour that is from the name?
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  27. #2487  
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    Quote Originally Posted by DantesShadow View Post
    I just bought some paint shade called 'Gentle Fawn'. Can you guess what colour that is from the name?
    Serious guess… something resembling dried and sun-bleached cow poo.

    Are you using it in the toilet, by any chance?
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  28. #2488  
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    Quote Originally Posted by DantesShadow View Post
    I just bought some paint shade called 'Gentle Fawn'. Can you guess what colour that is from the name?
    I reckon it's a paler version of 'Overly Physical Beige'.
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  29. #2489  
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiddlerDave View Post
    Serious guess… something resembling dried and sun-bleached cow poo.

    Are you using it in the toilet, by any chance?
    Yes!
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  30. #2490  
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    Quote Originally Posted by kas74 View Post
    I reckon it's a paler version of 'Overly Physical Beige'.
    You and Diddler were equally close - it's a sun-blessed tomatoes tinted weak vanilla.
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