It's great to be a bloke because........................

[SirStiffler]

From a girly prospective..............

We got off the Titanic first.

We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls and are nice to us when we blow up our
computers.

Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous.

Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

We don't need 14 pints to make us admit we love our friends and family.

We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

We can cry and get off speeding fines.

Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies (you get the point).

We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.

We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.

New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.

It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

No fashion faux pas we make could ever rival The Speedo.

We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

If we forget to shave, no one has to know.

We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her ass.

If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.

We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

We can never have too many clothes or too much jewelry.

If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.

If we're drunk some people will find it cute.

We can drink nice flavored alco-pops without people calling us wimps.

We have the ability to dress ourselves.

We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.

We can spend a fortnights salary in one shopping trip without guilt.

We can admit we're lost and ask for directions.

Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.

Gay waiters don't make us uncomfortable.

We'll never regret piercing our ears.

We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.

We don't have to pretend to understand bizarre sporting rules.

As long as there is chocolate we have a reason to live.

Go for it guys cos there's plenty of ammo there!!!

yeah, but they still don't get access to the men's changing rooms at the public baths...

[Ohhhyoubeauty]

Phone conversations with your mates are quick to the point and don't normally last more than 1 minute. They will also never ring you to ask 'how your feeling?'

You don't need to make a colour coded check list for every minor task as 'it's all up here love, don't you worry!'

If your partner hasn't said a word for over 5 minutes, it's seen as a time to cherish not to panic. And the words 'What you thinking?' will never leave your mouth.

2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner is more than adequate for your hair and it won't fall out if you don't use the latest 'Serum technology' shampoo. The phrase 'split ends' has absolutely no effect on you whatsoever.

You fully appreciate the educational qualities of channels like Quest.

[Mickaneso]

Once I rang my mate Steve to go out for a drink and an unfamiliar voice answered. I realised I phoned a different Steve. I was in a state of shock and denial.. I didn't know how to handle it so I ended up asking "er... how are you doing?" then what followed was a very confused silence with a "what do you want?" at the end.

Also I'd like to take issue with the assessing people by their shoes. That's definitely not good news for me considering I've wore the same shoes for 3 years through footy, mud and worse things.

[Alcheringa]

It's great to be a bloke because .....

Your a*** is never a factor in a job interview.

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You couldn't give a sh#t if someone notices your new haircut or not.

Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

Wrinkles add character and grey hair looks distinguished.

Your orgasms are always real.

You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.

People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered burp is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.

Your mates can be trusted never to trap you with "So, notice anything different?"

You can appreciate great sport.

You can throw a ball more than 5 feet.

A weekend break requires only one suitcase.

If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.

You can open all your own jars.

Dry cleaners and hairdressers don't rob you blind.

You can go to a public toilet without a support group.

You can leave a hotel bed unmade.

You can kill your own food.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, they can still be our friend.

If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

Everything on your face stays its original colour.

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You don't have to clean your house if the electricity meter reader is coming.

You can sit in silence watching a football game with your friend for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at
me."

You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

You don't have to shave below your neck.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons.

You can "do" your nails with the kitchen scissors.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.

Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.

The world is your urinal.

You can buy banana and cucumber in public.

[Denza-Red]

1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.

3. You know stuff about tanks.

4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.

5. Monday Night Football.

6. You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives.

7. Your toilet queues are 80% shorter.

8. You can open all your own jars.

9. Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.

10. Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.

11. When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.

12. Your _ss is never a factor in a job interview.

13. All your orgasms are real.

14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.

15. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.

16. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.

17. You understand why Stripes is funny.

18. You can go to the toilet without a support group.

19. Your last name stays put.

20. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.

21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.

22. You can kill your own food.

23. The garage is all yours.

24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

25. You see the humour in Terms of Endearment.

26. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.

27. You never have to clean the toilet.

28. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.

29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.

30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

32. Your underwear is £10 for a three pack.

33. Spearmint Rhino

34. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.

35. You don't have to shave below your neck.

36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy _ss every nite.

37. If you're 34 and single, nobody notices.

38. You can write your name in the snow.

39. You can get into a nontrivial *********** contest.

40. Everything on your face stays its original colour.

41. Chocolate is just another snack.

42. You can tie shoelaces.

43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.

44. Flowers fix everything.

45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings.

46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.

47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

48. Three pair of shoes are more than enough.

49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.

50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think.

51. Foreplay is optional.

52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.

53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.

54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.

55. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.

56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.

57. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

58. You don't give a rat's _ss if someone notices your new haircut.

59. You and your mate can watch a game in silence for hours without thinking even once: " He must be mad at me."

60. The world is your urinal.

61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.

62. You get to jump up and slap stuff.

63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

64. One mood, all the time.

65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.

66. You never have to drive to another filling station because this one's just too skanky.

67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.

68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.

69. Same work.... more pay.

70. Grey hair and wrinkles add character.

71. You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.

72. Wedding Dress £2000; Tux rental £50.

73. You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back.

74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.

75. You don't pinch off others' desserts.

76. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

77. The remote is yours and yours alone.

78. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

79. ESPN's sports center.

80. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.

81. Stag parties beat bridal showers.

82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.

83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.

84. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the toilet.

85. If you don't call your mate when you say you will, he won't tell your friends you've changed.

86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man.

87. You can rationalize any behaviour with the handy phrase "F*#k it!"

88. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong mates.

89. Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.

90. The occasional well rendered belch is practically expected.

91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood.

92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.

93. If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.

94. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

95. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.

96. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.

97. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.

98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So... notice anything different?"

99. Baywatch

100. There is always a game on somewhere.

[CKReds1892]

From a girly prospective..............

You missed a few of that list