1. Why do they cotton swab the guy's arm with rubbing alcohol before a lethal injection? pass
2. Why do 24 hour, 7 days a week (Including holidays!) Super Markets have locks on their door? because they know to keep you out
3. Why do Aliens abduct Humans if we are an inferior race? prove it
4 Why are rat traps in the car-care section of my supermarket? not here they are not
5.If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? no a mass murder
6. When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs? yes
7. Would a fly without wings be called a walk? no just a bug
8. Do blind people feel 'Love at first sight'? how can they feel love at 1st sight wouldn't it be love at 1st touch?
9. Why is the meaning of life hard to find when you have a dictionary? because its not in there
10. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist? they are called a racer
11. Did Adam and Eve have navels? no and neither did Alfred Hitchcock
12. If a hen-and-a-half could lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half, how long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle? why dont you ask it
13. Why do we park in a driveway and drive on the parkway? do you drive in the park often?
14. Why is the word "abbreviation" so long? because thats how its spelt
15. Why is there no "w" in "one", but there is a "w" in "two" and we don't use it? but theres a W in won
16. How do you know when you have run out of invisible ink? the pen stops working
17. Why do kamikazes wear helmets? to look cool
18. Can you stake a vampire with an artificial heart? yeah you use a Tbone
19. How long is a piece of string? twice as long from the centre to the end
20. What’s the best way to UN-teach a child to put a plastic bag on his/her head? show them what happens
21. Are shart* and skid marks** caused by the same thing? skid marks are found in your pants where do you find shart?
22. At a movie theatre You are asked, “ Hey, what are you doing here?” I have never been asked this
23. Now that Microsoft is so big, should it be called Macrosoft? no
24. You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance? would it fly?
25. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? do you know what a mouse tastes like?
26. Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? same as photo and phone
27. Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary? because someone thought it would be a great joke
28. Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? because everyones in a rush to get home?
29. Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand? because it moves every second
30. Why is it that night falls but day breaks? because day breaks through the night sky
31. Why is it that only adults have difficulty with childproof bottles? because we forget how
32. Why is it that rain drops but snow falls? we have rain fall also
33. Why is it that to stop Windows 95, you have to click on "Start"? im on windows vista and your on 95 time for an upgrade
34. Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? incase I need to ask directions
35. Why is it you must wait until night to call it a day? because
36, Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemonsWhy is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
why do you claim to ask 101 questions yet there's 3 questions on number 36 alone cant you count?
37. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? because if they mess up your broke
38. If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights? you can see where your going?
39. In court, why do they ask if you swear to tell the truth? If you're planning on lying, do they really think you'll tell them so? no but maybe they hope you do
40. Instead of wasting time hunting and cooking, why don't hunters just use flame-throwers? have you seen petrol prices?
41. If your car says Dodge on the front of it, do you really need a horn? yes especially if you live in london
42. If you're a kleptomaniac, is there something you can take for it? shock therapy?
43. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? both
44. If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke? yeah just not funny
45. If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter? no because its a cat not a kitten
46. Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? because calling it a built would sound silly
47. Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips? because it sticks to your lips?
48. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? same with football season you ever want to shoot that? well maybe man utd
49. Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? so it doesnt fall off when the coffin is carried
50.Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him? I have never seen this do you have a clip?
51.Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Because to practice for as long as they do requires patients
52. Why is it that famous people are always born on holidays? name 3?
53. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? because glu doesn't harden until it dries
54. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? because otherwise Jane wouldn't go out with him
55. Why doesn't the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie? too damn lazy
56. Why don't they just make food stamps edible? because they taste horrible ever licked a stamp?
57. Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? because I dont read news papers
58. Why get even, when you can get odd? because getting even is more fun
59. Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? you already asked me this
60. Why is a boxing ring square? its also known as the squared circle but a ring doesnt have to be round aslong as enclosed
61. Why is a women's prison called a penal colony? because of the penal code
62. Why is brassiere singular and panties plural? what?
63. Why is clear considered a color? isnt there a U in colour
64. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? some work for free
65. If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry? nope
66. If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club? I can wave a fan club fee
67. If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots? because your wife can park up outside
68. If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? < purple prove me wrong
69. If you didn't get caught, did you really do it? yes
70. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? yes
71. If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?
72. If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit? it died
73. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? you asked me this also
74. If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags? my mother she does everything
75. If Superman is so smart why does he wear his underpants over his trousers? we had a fight and the loser had to wear his pants on the outside
76. If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look like the way they do? because they eat more
77. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? because number 1 is un disputed
78. If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off? who the hell has a funeral at night
79. If the product says "Do not use if seal is broken", how are you supposed to open it and use it? it means for the 1st time
80. If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of? brass in some cases
81. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game," when we are already there? its an american thing ask them you ever sing it at anfield? I didnt think so
82. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? yeah but they get wet and smelly
83. Why do wise guy and wise man mean entirely different things? you would punch a wise guy but respect a wise man
84. Why do you feet smell and your nose runs? I have always loved this question
85. Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive? that or a passport is only acceptable ID in many places
86. Why do you need an appointment to see a psychic? because shes busy
87. Why does a dishtowel get wet when it dries? because it comes in contact with wet stuff
88. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! because hes horny
89. Why does it take 15 minutes to cook minute rice? its just 1 in the microwave
101 Stupid Questions
Originally Posted by GunDoggyIndian
