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Thread: 101 Stupid Questions

  1. #1 Red face 101 Stupid Questions 
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    1. Why do they cotton swab the guy's arm with rubbing alcohol before a lethal injection?

    2. Why do 24 hour, 7 days a week (Including holidays!) Super Markets have locks on their door?

    3. Why do Aliens abduct Humans if we are an inferior race?

    4 Why are rat traps in the car-care section of my supermarket?

    5.If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

    6. When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

    7. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

    8. Do blind people feel 'Love at first sight'?

    9. Why is the meaning of life hard to find when you have a dictionary?

    10. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

    11. Did Adam and Eve have navels?

    12. If a hen-and-a-half could lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half, how long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle?

    13. Why do we park in a driveway and drive on the parkway?

    14. Why is the word "abbreviation" so long?

    15. Why is there no "w" in "one", but there is a "w" in "two" and we don't use it?

    16. How do you know when you have run out of invisible ink?

    17. Why do kamikazes wear helmets?

    18. Can you stake a vampire with an artificial heart?

    19. How long is a piece of string?

    20. What’s the best way to UN-teach a child to put a plastic bag on his/her head?

    21. Are shart* and skid marks** caused by the same thing?

    22. At a movie theatre You are asked, “ Hey, what are you doing here?”

    23. Now that Microsoft is so big, should it be called Macrosoft?

    24. You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

    25. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

    26. Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

    27. Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?

    28. Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

    29. Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

    30. Why is it that night falls but day breaks?

    31. Why is it that only adults have difficulty with childproof bottles?

    32. Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

    33. Why is it that to stop Windows 95, you have to click on "Start"?

    34. Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

    35. Why is it you must wait until night to call it a day?

    36, Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemonsWhy is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

    37. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

    38. If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?


    39. In court, why do they ask if you swear to tell the truth? If you're planning on lying, do they really think you'll tell them so?

    40. Instead of wasting time hunting and cooking, why don't hunters just use flame-throwers?

    41. If your car says Dodge on the front of it, do you really need a horn?





    42. If you're a kleptomaniac, is there something you can take for it?

    43. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

    44. If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?

    45. If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?

    46. Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?

    47. Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

    48. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

    49. Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

    50.Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?

    51.Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

    52. Why is it that famous people are always born on holidays?

    53. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

    54. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

    55. Why doesn't the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?

    56. Why don't they just make food stamps edible?

    57. Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

    58. Why get even, when you can get odd?

    59. Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

    60. Why is a boxing ring square?

    61. Why is a women's prison called a penal colony?

    62. Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?

    63. Why is clear considered a color?

    64. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

    65. If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?

    66. If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club?

    67. If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?

    68. If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? <

    69. If you didn't get caught, did you really do it?

    70. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

    71. If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?

    72. If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?

    73. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

    74. If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?

    75. If Superman is so smart why does he wear his underpants over his trousers?

    76. If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look like the way they do?

    77. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

    78. If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?

    79. If the product says "Do not use if seal is broken", how are you supposed to open it and use it?

    80. If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?

    81. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game," when we are already there?

    82. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?


    83. Why do wise guy and wise man mean entirely different things?

    84. Why do you feet smell and your nose runs?

    85. Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

    86. Why do you need an appointment to see a psychic?

    87. Why does a dishtowel get wet when it dries?

    88. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

    89. Why does it take 15 minutes to cook minute rice?

    90. Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin? 91. If I save time, when do I get it back?

    92. If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

    93. Why do tourists go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in telescopes so they can see things on the ground in close-up?

    94. Why do we call something sent by car a shipment and something sent by ship a cargo?

    95. Why do we kill people for killing people to show that killing is wrong?

    96. Why do we need training bras? What can we teach them?

    97. Why do we put shirts in a suitcase, and put suits in a garment bag?

    98. Why do we say "a pair of pants" when there is only one article of clothing involved?

    99. Why do they make scented toilet paper?

    100. Why do they call it quicksand when it sucks you down slowly?

    101. Why did I limit this list to 101 questions?
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  2. #2  
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    Quote Originally Posted by GunDoggyIndian View Post
    101. Why did I limit this list to 101 questions?
    Because you copied and pasted it from elsewhere.
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  3. #3  
    MaxB is online now nimble, MaxB quick
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    74. :fp:
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  4. #4  
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiabyDoesGallas View Post
    Because you copied and pasted it from elsewhere.
    exactly
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  5. #5  
    MaxB is online now nimble, MaxB quick
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    Quote Originally Posted by MaxB View Post
    74. :fp:
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  6. #6  
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    Quote Originally Posted by GunDoggyIndian View Post
    1. Why do they cotton swab the guy's arm with rubbing alcohol before a lethal injection? pass

    2. Why do 24 hour, 7 days a week (Including holidays!) Super Markets have locks on their door? because they know to keep you out
    3. Why do Aliens abduct Humans if we are an inferior race? prove it

    4 Why are rat traps in the car-care section of my supermarket? not here they are not

    5.If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? no a mass murder

    6. When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs? yes

    7. Would a fly without wings be called a walk? no just a bug

    8. Do blind people feel 'Love at first sight'? how can they feel love at 1st sight wouldn't it be love at 1st touch?

    9. Why is the meaning of life hard to find when you have a dictionary? because its not in there

    10. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist? they are called a racer

    11. Did Adam and Eve have navels? no and neither did Alfred Hitchcock

    12. If a hen-and-a-half could lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half, how long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle? why dont you ask it

    13. Why do we park in a driveway and drive on the parkway? do you drive in the park often?

    14. Why is the word "abbreviation" so long? because thats how its spelt

    15. Why is there no "w" in "one", but there is a "w" in "two" and we don't use it? but theres a W in won

    16. How do you know when you have run out of invisible ink? the pen stops working

    17. Why do kamikazes wear helmets? to look cool

    18. Can you stake a vampire with an artificial heart? yeah you use a Tbone

    19. How long is a piece of string? twice as long from the centre to the end

    20. What’s the best way to UN-teach a child to put a plastic bag on his/her head? show them what happens

    21. Are shart* and skid marks** caused by the same thing? skid marks are found in your pants where do you find shart?

    22. At a movie theatre You are asked, “ Hey, what are you doing here?” I have never been asked this

    23. Now that Microsoft is so big, should it be called Macrosoft? no

    24. You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance? would it fly?

    25. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? do you know what a mouse tastes like?

    26. Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? same as photo and phone

    27. Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary? because someone thought it would be a great joke

    28. Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? because everyones in a rush to get home?

    29. Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand? because it moves every second

    30. Why is it that night falls but day breaks? because day breaks through the night sky

    31. Why is it that only adults have difficulty with childproof bottles? because we forget how

    32. Why is it that rain drops but snow falls? we have rain fall also

    33. Why is it that to stop Windows 95, you have to click on "Start"? im on windows vista and your on 95 time for an upgrade

    34. Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio? incase I need to ask directions

    35. Why is it you must wait until night to call it a day? because

    36, Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemonsWhy is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

    why do you claim to ask 101 questions yet there's 3 questions on number 36 alone cant you count?

    37. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? because if they mess up your broke

    38. If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights? you can see where your going?


    39. In court, why do they ask if you swear to tell the truth? If you're planning on lying, do they really think you'll tell them so? no but maybe they hope you do

    40. Instead of wasting time hunting and cooking, why don't hunters just use flame-throwers? have you seen petrol prices?

    41. If your car says Dodge on the front of it, do you really need a horn? yes especially if you live in london

    42. If you're a kleptomaniac, is there something you can take for it? shock therapy?

    43. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? both

    44. If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke? yeah just not funny

    45. If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter? no because its a cat not a kitten

    46. Why is it called a "building" when it is already built? because calling it a built would sound silly

    47. Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips? because it sticks to your lips?

    48. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? same with football season you ever want to shoot that? well maybe man utd

    49. Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? so it doesnt fall off when the coffin is carried

    50.Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him? I have never seen this do you have a clip?

    51.Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Because to practice for as long as they do requires patients

    52. Why is it that famous people are always born on holidays? name 3?

    53. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? because glu doesn't harden until it dries

    54. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? because otherwise Jane wouldn't go out with him

    55. Why doesn't the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie? too damn lazy

    56. Why don't they just make food stamps edible? because they taste horrible ever licked a stamp?

    57. Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? because I dont read news papers

    58. Why get even, when you can get odd? because getting even is more fun

    59. Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? you already asked me this

    60. Why is a boxing ring square? its also known as the squared circle but a ring doesnt have to be round aslong as enclosed

    61. Why is a women's prison called a penal colony? because of the penal code

    62. Why is brassiere singular and panties plural? what?

    63. Why is clear considered a color? isnt there a U in colour

    64. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? some work for free

    65. If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry? nope

    66. If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club? I can wave a fan club fee

    67. If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots? because your wife can park up outside

    68. If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? < purple prove me wrong

    69. If you didn't get caught, did you really do it? yes

    70. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? yes

    71. If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?

    72. If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit? it died

    73. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? you asked me this also

    74. If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags? my mother she does everything

    75. If Superman is so smart why does he wear his underpants over his trousers? we had a fight and the loser had to wear his pants on the outside

    76. If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look like the way they do? because they eat more

    77. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? because number 1 is un disputed

    78. If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off? who the hell has a funeral at night

    79. If the product says "Do not use if seal is broken", how are you supposed to open it and use it? it means for the 1st time

    80. If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of? brass in some cases

    81. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game," when we are already there? its an american thing ask them you ever sing it at anfield? I didnt think so

    82. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them? yeah but they get wet and smelly


    83. Why do wise guy and wise man mean entirely different things? you would punch a wise guy but respect a wise man

    84. Why do you feet smell and your nose runs? I have always loved this question

    85. Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive? that or a passport is only acceptable ID in many places

    86. Why do you need an appointment to see a psychic? because shes busy

    87. Why does a dishtowel get wet when it dries? because it comes in contact with wet stuff

    88. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! because hes horny

    89. Why does it take 15 minutes to cook minute rice? its just 1 in the microwave



    continued
    Last edited by Whompy Whomperson; 13-4-12 at 19:12.
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  7. #7  
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    Quote Originally Posted by FUS-RO-DAH View Post
    continued
    90. Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin? 91. If I save time, when do I get it back? again with 2 questions lol

    92. If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan? they paste it on sticky side down lol

    93. Why do tourists go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in telescopes so they can see things on the ground in close-up? because its cool

    94. Why do we call something sent by car a shipment and something sent by ship a cargo? ok im stumped

    95. Why do we kill people for killing people to show that killing is wrong? because they deserve to die

    96. Why do we need training bras? What can we teach them? how to look good

    97. Why do we put shirts in a suitcase, and put suits in a garment bag? I have never done this

    98. Why do we say "a pair of pants" when there is only one article of clothing involved? ok you win this 1

    99. Why do they make scented toilet paper? because it costs more and they know women will buy it

    100. Why do they call it quicksand when it sucks you down slowly? because the more you struggle the quicker you sink

    101. Why did I limit this list to 101 questions? erm you didnt

    wow that was fun lol
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  8. #8  
    Hobbes. is offline Bandwagon jumper of the year
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    20. What’s the best way to UN-teach a child to put a plastic bag on his/her head?
    The **** kind of question is that?
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