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Thread: What job do you do?

  1. #91  
    WirralRiddler is online now View Kop Profile These posts brought to you by Dr Dre & Only Fools & Horses appreciation society
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    Sperm Donor

    Video game tester

    Secret Shopper

    and a part time Dolphin trainer
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  2. #92  
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    Are they arctic dolphins?
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  3. #93  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Knottyback View Post
    I am a giant inhaler


    Nutter.
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  4. #94  
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    Quote Originally Posted by ceredred View Post


    Nutter.
    Thank You
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  5. #95  
    WirralRiddler is online now View Kop Profile These posts brought to you by Dr Dre & Only Fools & Horses appreciation society
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    Quote Originally Posted by WatchRodgersRedsRunRiot View Post
    Are they arctic dolphins?
    Atlantic Humpbacked i think
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    I'm a plasterer, pretty exhilarating stuff
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  7. #97  
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    Love a bit of hardwalling
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    Quote Originally Posted by BostonFans View Post

    A classic from Georges and Kramer ..
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  9. #99  
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    Taxi driver
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  10. #100  
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    Worked in the entertainment field, mainly theatre, for 20 years (used to work for Bill Kenwright... I was young, I needed the money!) and now have my retirement gig, working for a hotel events/AV company in the States... It's funny cos in the UK you have real job titles, I was Technical Manager when I left but, over here, I'm Director of Audio Visual Services... You can't even say it without using an American accent...
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  11. #101  
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    I quit teaching last year and now I'm a jobbing actor. Slow progress so far, but I've had speaking roles in Doctors and Holby City, as well as an advert for Heineken. I've got a callback for an advert for a newspaper in Germany, which pays very well though. And I've got an audition for a role in a Shane Meadows film.
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  12. #102  
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    My job is so ******* unbelievable. I’ll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

    First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

    The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career oppertunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I’m not sure she even showers, much less shaves her “womanly” parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

    But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the ******* stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I’m sure after work. He probably hasn’t been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he’s only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960’s, and to make things worse, he brings his big ******* dog to work. Every ******* day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it’s trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single ******* day.

    Anyway, I drive these idiots around in my van and we solve mysteries and stuff.
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  13. #103  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dioltas View Post
    My job is so ******* unbelievable. I’ll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

    First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

    The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career oppertunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I’m not sure she even showers, much less shaves her “womanly” parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

    But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the ******* stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I’m sure after work. He probably hasn’t been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he’s only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960’s, and to make things worse, he brings his big ******* dog to work. Every ******* day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it’s trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single ******* day.

    Anyway, I drive these idiots around in my van and we solve mysteries and stuff.
    ******* love Sickipedia .
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  14. #104  
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    Quote Originally Posted by MiraclesArePossible View Post
    ******* love Sickipedia .
    No way Sickipedia stole it off 4chan, I stole it from the original source at least
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  15. #105  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dioltas View Post
    No way Sickipedia stole it off 4chan, I stole it from the original source at least
    Did they? Sods.
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  16. #106  
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    Quote Originally Posted by MiraclesArePossible View Post
    Did they? Sods.
    My Facebook page is constantly bombarded with people stealing the top jokes of the day off sickipedia...and some dumbasses reply with things like 'omg you are hilarious, you should be a comedian'. It's cringe-worthy but hilarious in it's own way.
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  17. #107  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dioltas View Post
    My job is so ******* unbelievable. I’ll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

    First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

    The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career oppertunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I’m not sure she even showers, much less shaves her “womanly” parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

    But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the ******* stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I’m sure after work. He probably hasn’t been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he’s only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960’s, and to make things worse, he brings his big ******* dog to work. Every ******* day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it’s trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single ******* day.

    Anyway, I drive these idiots around in my van and we solve mysteries and stuff.
    That is quality, absolute quality.

    http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1099/...e577dffdc0.jpg
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  18. #108  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dioltas View Post
    My job is so ******* unbelievable. I’ll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

    First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

    The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career oppertunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I’m not sure she even showers, much less shaves her “womanly” parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

    But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the ******* stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I’m sure after work. He probably hasn’t been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he’s only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960’s, and to make things worse, he brings his big ******* dog to work. Every ******* day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it’s trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single ******* day.

    Anyway, I drive these idiots around in my van and we solve mysteries and stuff.
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  19. #109  
    lfcstlouis is offline View Kop Profile Caution advised, may not be actual saint
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dioltas View Post
    My job is so ******* unbelievable. I’ll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

    First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

    The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career oppertunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I’m not sure she even showers, much less shaves her “womanly” parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

    But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the ******* stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I’m sure after work. He probably hasn’t been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he’s only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960’s, and to make things worse, he brings his big ******* dog to work. Every ******* day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it’s trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single ******* day.

    Anyway, I drive these idiots around in my van and we solve mysteries and stuff.
    Damnit, I read that whole thing thinking it was real. **** you.

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  20. #110  
    lfcstlouis is offline View Kop Profile Caution advised, may not be actual saint
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    I help save the environment. Not like those hippies who re-use toilet paper. Like actually make a difference on a large scale.

    Suck it hemp-warriors.
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  21. #111  
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    Quote Originally Posted by lfcstlouis View Post
    Damnit, I read that whole thing thinking it was real. **** you.

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  22. #112  
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    Trainee Probation Officer, it's a job
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  23. #113  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dioltas View Post
    My job is so ******* unbelievable. I’ll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:

    First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.

    The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career oppertunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I’m not suUre she even showers, much less shaves her “womanly” parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.

    But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the ******* stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I’m sure after work. He probably hasn’t been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he’s only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960’s, and to make things worse, he brings his big ******* dog to work. Every ******* day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it’s trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single ******* day.

    Anyway, I drive these idiots around in my van and we solve mysteries and stuff.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAZDr...e_gdata_player

    Could it be?
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