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Thread: Dementia

  1. #1 Emlyn Dementia 
    Socratease is offline LFC Forums Moderator
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    I chaired my second meeting of the residents forum with over 18 residents/patients plus several relatives in attendence at work today and the interaction along with the involvement was superb!

    Our residents (without going into detail) have to live with varying degrees/levels of a cornucopia of diagnosis of dementia waiting for a therapeutic intervention/assistance in keeping their minds, bodies and most importantly their emotions stimulated and active.

    What is important here is that the residents well being must be holistic and not narrowed to an aspect of their dementia being limited to their disability.

    A therapeutic approach is the one that is very important to relatives and specifically to the person coping with dementia.

    This means activity and engagement.

    As our population generation lives much longer than previous centuries before, due to medical and nutritional knowledge, we seem to have a generalised switch off point/degrading in our ability in a small way (as in numbers, statistics. percentages of the demographic) to lose our ability to maintain a fully functioning cognizant functioning of self awareness and social interaction as we get older.

    It reminds me of "Blade Runner" actually, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G8VpG_M4Ksw, the limit of life.

    The most important thing here is to recognize the emotional state that the person living with dementia is locked into. It is all too easy to dismiss a person based on what is now the previously discredited model no longer allowed within medical circles of the of the patient in the bed as, 'Cancer, Gout, Renal Failure, Screamer (dementia), etc,' http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWlNVyFn4qA

    Dementia

    We must progress beyond these mistaken narratives that are all too prevalent in today's society through fear stories and the perceived loss of hope for our loved ones who still have the emotion of a human being - even though their awareness of their cognizance may be diminished, we love them because of why and what the reason is that they remain so important to us.

    We/us are important to them, they might not have the awareness to say so - but when a devoted husband pops in to see his wife at 10:30hrs out of the blue a dear lady lights up and grabs his hands (he is 83 years young) and kissses him on his lips and she smiles without pause, happiness ~ well being.

    Many of us, including myself, have had to experience the stress and the love of a loved one with dementia.

    What are your experiences and thoughts?

    ,
    The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance. Socrates.
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  2. #2  
    Socratease is offline LFC Forums Moderator
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    Think of the mind as an extraneous onion.

    The core of the onion is the beginning of memories - the establishment of one's self.

    The outer layers of the onion are the most recent memories that are unfortunately swept/torn away, in my opinion, in regard to immediate interaction and cognition.

    The loss of cognition within dementia is always the loss of the most recent memories which causes hurt feelings and loss to the immediate family at the first confirmed diagnosis.

    The extraneous onion is relevant in the respect of layers being peeled away within the mind of the individual of the neo cortex shedding through degradation meant/means many years of recent memories due to the aggressive onset of a dementia are cruelly sliced away.

    This means that the individual, in one aspect or another, revert to/remember not the redacted memories of their adulthood with their husband/wife and sired children but all the way back to the memories of their youth.

    When we lose our cognizance we are vulnerable to the grief of others, our cognizance may be diminished but our human feelings and instincts are still intact, if you shout at us in a fierce way do we not respond with fear and unsureity? The neo cortex maybe compromised but the essence of self and survival resides within the paleo cortex, fight or flight.

    The grief that we may feel is not necessarily mirrored within the perception of the person suffering with/coping with dementia in the understanding of their condition in any form.

    However, it is our duty as a family and as a society to protect the vulnerable, our elderly loved ones may start to lack social cohesion - but do not our children learn social cohesion.

    This is the circle of life.

    2,500 years ago (circa) Sophocles wrote a play in which a conundrum was given by a sphinx ~ which creature walks on all fours in the morning and then walks on two at mid-day and then three in the evening - Oedipous replied anthropous ~ mankind.

    A baby, an adult and an elderly adult with a walking stick.

    It is important to remember that if our elderly regress to an apparent child like state it is because of the loss of cognition and the ability to have mobility and co-ordination is being lost to their despair.

    Think of it this way, we have a child and we nurture her or him to gain their first step, we teach them how to eat, how to wash - and brush their teeth, we teach them how to avoid the dangers in this world and then we educate them.

    Now imagine the reverse, you lose your ability to ambulate, it is difficult to feed yourself, you do not have any teeth to brush, your eye sight is failing and your hearing is compromised and worst of all your memory is receding - it is receding to one's earliest memories.

    My point is that in dealing with dementia we feel the loss much more than the sufferer.

    This is the selfish aspect of grief that we all come to encounter in our lives.

    Especially with dementia.

    Consider the fear of the unknown, both as the relative and the person with dementia. It is difficult to understand and actually cope with.

    Whilst the person is still alive with dementia they do need love and consideration as well as respectful regard as to who they are despite their suffering of dementia.

    We care for our young without question, with kindness and understanding we can learn to understand for our eldery in turn and care for them not with our abscence but with our presence - bare in mind that they are losing a lot and need support from their loved ones - they may not remember who you are but your presence and your voice and your caring makes all the difference in the world to them ~ and eventually to you.

    Consider the events that overtook one of our legendary players - Ray Kennedy, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ray_Kennedy, and the therapeutic work involved in rediscovering through sport the memories of an old guy with a story to tell;

    http://www.sportingmemoriesnetwork.c...ting-evidence/



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    The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance. Socrates.
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    Erm, think is is supposed to be in the "Off-Topic" section.

    As for experiences with Dementia, my dad has it, I moved back home to help my mum cope with him. As there are varying degrees of it and it can affect suffers in different ways. Some unfortunately can become a real danger to not just themselves but others, unfortunately my dad can have massive mood swings and can become violent, something he never was before. I know how and why this happens, due to certain pathways and proteins in the Brain dying and when you can look at it from a far in a clinical manor its straight forward to understand; then dealing with it on a day to day practical basis it very difficult. The days/nights I'm having to restrain my Dad because he's been attacking my Mum can be quite distressing, I have trained in martial arts over the years and even though I'm not the biggest of guys I can protect my quite well, though I never really gave any thought in having to do that with my parents.

    The way Dementia, and mental health issues in general, are treated are appalling; I feel it is an area of healthcare which even in these times of financial cut backs should actually have increased funding, research and training on dealing with. This is not due to having my own personal experiences in this area, it is due to seeing the figures which are only due to rise with the increasing ageing population. This could well be one of the largest expenditures of the Healthcare within the next 10 years; with looking to realistic ways of approaching the increased problems now then I do fear for people in the coming years who are going to have to live with this horrible disease.
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    Socratease is offline LFC Forums Moderator
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    Erm, think is is supposed to be in the "Off-Topic" section.
    This thread can only be inclusive if it is able to raise the issues that affect a great many of us, including the LFC athletes of times past, present and future and the history of Liverpool FC and it's community - as a community moderator I have had to consider the balances as to the relevance and pertinence to be seen by a larger community, hence the highlighted links.

    As for experiences with Dementia, my dad has it, I moved back home to help my mum cope with him. As there are varying degrees of it and it can affect suffers in different ways. Some unfortunately can become a real danger to not just themselves but others, unfortunately my dad can have massive mood swings and can become violent, something he never was before. I know how and why this happens, due to certain pathways and proteins in the Brain dying and when you can look at it from a far in a clinical manor its straight forward to understand; then dealing with it on a day to day practical basis it very difficult. The days/nights I'm having to restrain my Dad because he's been attacking my Mum can be quite distressing, I have trained in martial arts over the years and even though I'm not the biggest of guys I can protect my quite well, though I never really gave any thought in having to do that with my parents.

    The way Dementia, and mental health issues in general, are treated are appalling; I feel it is an area of healthcare which even in these times of financial cut backs should actually have increased funding, research and training on dealing with. This is not due to having my own personal experiences in this area, it is due to seeing the figures which are only due to rise with the increasing ageing population. This could well be one of the largest expenditures of the Healthcare within the next 10 years; with looking to realistic ways of approaching the increased problems now then I do fear for people in the coming years who are going to have to live with this horrible disease.
    A top notch post, willdenred! A truly considered response which I really do appreciate coming from personal experience.

    Ray Kennedy http://www.liverpoolfc.com/news/have...25-ray-kennedy - 72 goals, quite a few quite crucial to our history!!!




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    Last edited by Socratease; 30-10-13 at 22:45.
    The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance. Socrates.
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  5. #5  
    Socratease is offline LFC Forums Moderator
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    It was October 31st yesterday, Halloween, I worked an extra few hours for the night after advertizing locally in local shops, local medical surgeries, local chemists/pharmacies and even the local council housing offices that all trick or treaters were welcome to our residential nursing home for EMI (Elderly Mentallly Invalided) for trick or treat for the young kids and their families to pop in. I chatted with some parents in these public places (including the local swimming baths where you could not display a poster unless it had the local council logo printed on it!)

    It was great success! The children and the parents (and our staff - I wore a witches hat with long black hair and a white medical coat - I think I looked like a cross between Bill Bailey and Christopher Lloyd as a mad scientist!) saw people who were just like their grandmas and grandpas and our residents' (and our staff's) faces continually lit up as these young kids and even toddlers and babies showed off their creative costumes as they came in to meet and greet and get their Halloween sweets.

    One child (a young girl possibly 7 or 8 yrs old) out of a group of 5 kids and 3 adults genuinely said, ''Is this a care home, mammy? Is this, is this the care home mammy? What is a care home mammy? It's a great party mammy!", she, this little one, and many others loved the atmosphere of the halloween decorations and the cobwebs I put on the old grand father clock.

    I ran out of trick or treat sweets after 20+ visits, but what is important to me is that the local community are reinforced with the kindest memories of our home.

    Most importantly of all, the joy of our elderly being in contact with the these young'uns and their families.

    ,
    The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance. Socrates.
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  6. #6  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Socratease View Post
    It was October 31st yesterday, Halloween, I worked an extra few hours for the night after advertizing locally in local shops, local medical surgeries, local chemists/pharmacies and even the local council housing offices that all trick or treaters were welcome to our residential nursing home for EMI (Elderly Mentallly Invalided) for trick or treat for the young kids and their families to pop in. I chatted with some parents in these public places (including the local swimming baths where you could not display a poster unless it had the local council logo printed on it!)

    It was great success! The children and the parents (and our staff - I wore a witches hat with long black hair and a white medical coat - I think I looked like a cross between Bill Bailey and Christopher Lloyd as a mad scientist!) saw people who were just like their grandmas and grandpas and our residents' (and our staff's) faces continually lit up as these young kids and even toddlers and babies showed off their creative costumes as they came in to meet and greet and get their Halloween sweets.

    One child (a young girl possibly 7 or 8 yrs old) out of a group of 5 kids and 3 adults genuinely said, ''Is this a care home, mammy? Is this, is this the care home mammy? What is a care home mammy? It's a great party mammy!", she, this little one, and many others loved the atmosphere of the halloween decorations and the cobwebs I put on the old grand father clock.

    I ran out of trick or treat sweets after 20+ visits, but what is important to me is that the local community are reinforced with the kindest memories of our home.

    Most importantly of all, the joy of our elderly being in contact with the these young'uns and their families.

    ,
    Shame they couldn't remember it the next day

    No seriously it is just so unfair. Came into contact with people like that for the first time in the summer on a daily basis for a week and it is such an eye opener. And depressing. Seeing them being robbed of their memories and dignity is just cruel. In the end you had to try and have a sense of humour about it.

    Didn't our very own Bob Paisley get it? Personally I think I would rather die young in perfect health than get that.

    But I tell you what the staff are out of this world. The things they have to do and cope with is incredible. And to think what they get paid is bad enough but compare it to how much the homes charge is terrible.
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  7. #7  
    kas74 is online now First team regular
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    Quote Originally Posted by cloudy12 View Post
    Shame they couldn't remember it the next day

    No seriously it is just so unfair. Came into contact with people like that for the first time in the summer on a daily basis for a week and it is such an eye opener. And depressing. Seeing them being robbed of their memories and dignity is just cruel. In the end you had to try and have a sense of humour about it.

    Didn't our very own Bob Paisley get it? Personally I think I would rather die young in perfect health than get that.

    But I tell you what the staff are out of this world. The things they have to do and cope with is incredible. And to think what they get paid is bad enough but compare it to how much the homes charge is terrible.
    They've got their work cut out,I don't know how they do it.My partner's grandfather had dementia;he only lived for a few months after being admitted to a home but the staff were marvellous.
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    Quote Originally Posted by kas74 View Post
    They've got their work cut out,I don't know how they do it.My partner's grandfather had dementia;he only lived for a few months after being admitted to a home but the staff were marvellous.
    Too right they have. The things they have to do on a daily basis I personally couldn't do it no matter what you offered me. Things which you actually don't think about until you have seen first hand the daily routine of a someone who works there.. You've certainly got to be special to do that job.
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  9. #9  
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    Quote Originally Posted by cloudy12 View Post
    Too right they have. The things they have to do on a daily basis I personally couldn't do it no matter what you offered me. Things which you actually don't think about until you have seen first hand the daily routine of a someone who works there.. You've certainly got to be special to do that job.
    I know I couldn't do it.One of our neighbours works as a carer in a home where 90% of the patients have some form of dementia;last year she was attacked by one of them while getting him ready for a shower.Sorry, but that would've been my last day.
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  10. #10  
    Socratease is offline LFC Forums Moderator
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    The responses to this thread have been much more than I could ever have expected but then again I know that we all do have human emotions and a reaction to unexpected experiences thrown at us out of the blue by nature... and it's reality.
    The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance. Socrates.
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  11. #11  
    Socratease is offline LFC Forums Moderator
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    We nearly lost a special lady last night, over time, she has quoted Vidal Sassoon and Wilfred Owen, even though she cannot remember what she had for breakfast.


    It is frightening

    Working with dementia

    Even more frightning

    Having dementia itself

    Loss of home

    Loss of family

    Loss of life

    Where is my husband/where is my wife

    Please help me

    I had a life

    I must get home

    My mother is ill

    I'm 91

    She needs me still

    She does

    I remember

    Here in my heart

    My mother and father

    Never to part

    My children too

    Where are they

    Such lovely thoughts

    They say it's my birthday

    When?

    How old am I

    18

    I met Henry

    Back from Passiondale

    That's how he said it

    In 1918

    I was a nurse auxiallary

    Just after the Somme

    Many young boys

    Now long gone

    Kind care

    Kind thoughts

    I'll never forget

    May be I will

    But I wont forget

    My Henry


    It is frightening

    Working with dementia

    Even more frightning

    Having dementia itself

    Loss of home

    Loss of family

    Loss of life

    Where is my husband/where is my wife

    Please help me

    I had a life

    I must get home

    My mother is ill

    I'm 99

    She needs me still

    She does

    I remember

    Here in my heart

    My mother and father

    Never to part

    My children too

    Where are they

    Such lovely thoughts

    They say it's my birthday

    When?

    How old am I

    18

    I met Henry

    Back from Passiondale

    That's how he said it

    In 1918

    I was a nurse auxiallary

    Long after the Somme

    Many young boys

    Now long gone

    Kind care

    Kind thoughts

    I'll never forget

    May be I will

    But I wont forget

    My Henry...



    Memories define who we are.

    ,
    The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance. Socrates.
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  12. #12  
    Socratease is offline LFC Forums Moderator
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    It is important to not identify a patient as having a disease alone, as in being impaired due to what they have 'got'.

    It is important to consider ethically that the person is supported in coping with their condition and empowered despite the stigma associated with the diagnosis by society and ill-informed media - and old wives tales ~ gossip.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VupxqjTGAyk

    It is important to recognise the centrality of the individual rather than the disability. Meeting the needs of individuals with disabilities has traditionally been limited by a ‘medical model’. Medical professionals base interventions on the basis of scientific criteria alone. The emphasis is on treating the physical condition, not the individual. There is an assumption that the ‘patient’ is ‘passive’ and little attention is paid to their individual needs and preferences. Failure to recognise the centrality of an individual with a disability can lead to:-

    • A loss of identity

    • An exclusion from society

    • Stigmatisation


    Disability encompasses both physical and mental incapacities, disability is either congenital or caused.

    What I mean is that if you are born with a disability you grow by learning the limits of your capabilities.

    If you are healthy and then lose specific capabilities it is traumatic, psychologically and emotionally challengeing.

    When a disability involves the mind/brain through trauma the reference point to the individual changes to the patient.

    Importantly the reference point is dramatically changed for the immediate family and relations.

    It is in reference to dementia that I feel that what must be noted is that the essence of the individual as still being there despite their noted challenging behaviours.

    The degradation of cognizant function does not minimalize the individual.

    If anything, they need kindness and understanding.

    It is inherent in our nature to nurture and protect our children - they get things wrong and they get things right, we should go beyond social stigmatization and care for our elderly in a wider social context to.

    Dementia involves the loss of cognizance but not the feeling of being human.

    I can only state that it is our social responsibilty to care for our own and to ensure that our own are well cared for from the inevitable cradle to the inevitable grave.

    Keeping a person active with dementia is important no matter how challenging their behaviour might be.

    Their humanity is still alive and the images and music that they have lived through in their lives and experienced to the full is registered in their hearts and minds.

    Bear in mind, as a relative seeing a loved one as being perceived as losing themselves because we remember them at their height we need to examine their personal history and try to understand where they are in their perception at that moment in time as in being relevant to their state of mind.

    To many dementia can be perceived as the cruellest loss of all as it is drawn out over an extended time.

    To patients who have to endure dementia it is important, if not vital, to revitalise their earlier memories and engage them with meaningful talk and activities pertinent to them as an individual.

    All of my waking hours and even in my sleep/dreams is devoted to understanding the various aspects and clinical observations that are given/told by research and the portrayal of dementia by the media.

    The brain is a wonderous thing, my synapses still seem to be working and my neo cortex still seems to be functioning, but .....

    ,
    The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance. Socrates.
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    Seriously, as if getting really old, weak and totally reliant on others isn't bad enough, dementia gets thrown into the mix for some unfortunate souls...
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  14. #14  
    Socratease is offline LFC Forums Moderator
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    We can help with kindness and understanding.



    ,
    The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance. Socrates.
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    Socratease is offline LFC Forums Moderator
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    I have and am having a week off work, I am at a loss purposely as to what is going on at work - and it's doing my head in.

    I have, however, kept myself busy in researching various aspects of mental and physical disabilities and 'society's' perception as to what a disability is as a physically perceived 'understanding' and the not so obvious underlying factors when we consider mental health.

    The case of mental health carries centuries of social stigma along with it. There are no obvious sighted bandages to cover a mental health wounding as you would see with the treatment of a physical wound.

    Even with a physical wound blood seeps out to the bandage.

    The mental health wound seeps out to - and for too long it is taking society way too long to recognize this fact.

    There is no obvious bandage available visibly pertaining to any form of mental health.

    This is the problem as far as society is concerned.

    To the professionals and the care workers - and the affected families as well as the person going through it - this perception and actual awareness of this problem is not informed or appreciated if it is beyond/outside of the familial grasp.

    What I mean to say is, that when you are confronted by something you do not understand or have little knowledge of, you become frightened due to the unknown - or you can confront this aspect of mental health by learning as much as you can about it.



    ,
    Last edited by Socratease; 17-5-17 at 22:37.
    The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance. Socrates.
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    ...or you can confront this aspect of mental health by learning as much as you can about it.

    It never makes it easier, but it helps us to understand.


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    The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance. Socrates.
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    Coach791 is online now First team regular
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    Quote Originally Posted by Socratease View Post
    I have and am having a week off work, I am at a loss purposely as to what is going on at work - and it's doing my head in.

    I have, however, kept myself busy in researching various aspects of mental and physical disabilities and 'society's' perception as to what a disability is as a physically perceived 'understanding' and the not so obvious underlying factors when we consider mental health.

    The case of mental health carries centuries of social stigma along with it. There are no obvious sighted bandages to cover a mental health wounding as you would see with the treatment of a physical wound.

    Even with a physical wound blood seeps out to the bandage.

    The mental health wound seeps out to - and for too long it is taking society way too long recognize this fact.

    There is no obvious bandage available visibly pertaining to any form of mental health.

    This is the problem as far as society is concerned.

    To the professionals and the care workers - and the affected families as well as the person going through it - this perception and actual awareness of this problem is not informed or appreciated if it is beyond/outside of the familial grasp.

    What I mean to say is, that when you are confronted by something you do not understand or have little knowledge of, you become frightened due to the unknown - or you can confront this aspect of mental health by learning as much as you can about it.



    ,
    I think society is being taught to fear anything that isn't considered the 'norm' which is what is decided is the norm first and then enacted. There is a bigger and bigger push to force all of society to conform to the same thoughts and paths.

    It starts almost from birth and the social conditioning continues through school and society. That's why bullying has risen, that's why mental disability continues to have stigma attached.

    The truth is we understand virtually nothing yet think we know how everybody should be.
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    kas74 is online now First team regular
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    I'm off to see my father later today,he no longer has a clue who I am.
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    She's trapped inside the prison walls
    That used to be her mind.
    The woman that she used to be,
    Has long been left behind.
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    Thought this research work might be of interest:

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-s...wales-39646667
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    kas74 is online now First team regular
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    Quote Originally Posted by welshypool View Post
    Thought this research work might be of interest:

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-s...wales-39646667
    Sad but not surprised that it's now the leading cause of death in England and Wales.
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    Quote Originally Posted by kas74 View Post
    Sad but not surprised that it's now the leading cause of death in England and Wales.
    It is sad yes, terrible really and so torturous for loved ones of course, heartbreaking.

    At least they are making headway now and this latest initiative could prove excellent, the fact they've discovered 30 genes that contribute to dementia with more funded work to come is promising at least
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    Quote Originally Posted by welshypool View Post
    It is sad yes, terrible really and so torturous for loved ones of course, heartbreaking.

    At least they are making headway now and this latest initiative could prove excellent, the fact they've discovered 30 genes that contribute to dementia with more funded work to come is promising at least
    I know a surgeon whose father had dementia;he's of the opinion that there'll never be a cure,just a way to alleviate the symptoms and hopefully extend the time that sufferers retain more of their faculties.
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    Quote Originally Posted by kas74 View Post
    I know a surgeon whose father had dementia;he's of the opinion that there'll never be a cure,just a way to alleviate the symptoms and hopefully extend the time that sufferers retain more of their faculties.
    Who knows kas, I guess we thought we'd never fly or go to the moon but we did.

    If alleviation and extension of normality is the initial aim then that will prove invaluable but if it can go beyond, fantastic

    I also think education and knowledge then education for preventative measures would also be hugely beneficial
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  25. #25  
    kas74 is online now First team regular
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    Quote Originally Posted by welshypool View Post
    Who knows kas, I guess we thought we'd never fly or go to the moon but we did.

    If alleviation and extension of normality is the initial aim then that will prove invaluable but if it can go beyond, fantastic

    I also think education and knowledge then education for preventative measures would also be hugely beneficial
    I think there are drugs available now that can help with the symptoms but my father's autistic so his dementia was difficult to spot and his diagnosis came too late for medication to be of any use.
    The preventative measures thing is a difficult one;as with most serious illnesses the 'experts' keep changing their minds about what does and doesn't help.
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    I'm closer to this part of life than many LFC posters in here. Years ago, my wife and I saw all four of our parents go through various stages of dementia, before they passed away… some were mild and some were quite severe.

    My wife's mother at various times denied that she any children at all (my wife has three sisters) for example… and she thought that my wife was actually her own long-deceased sister.
    She would forget entirely how clothes were to be put on, what shoes were for, and so on.

    But there can be unintentional laughs, too.
    On one occasion, I was taking my mother-in-law to the hospital. She was using a walker at this time. It was quite an unusual model and colour, so when my wife said 'oh look, mum… there's a lady with your walker,' as we drove along, a confused and worried voice came from the back seat...
    'Oh... I thought Dave put it in the boot.'

    It's painful to witness a once sharp mind deteriorating…
    My own mother lived with us for some years after Dad passed away. She was ailing and subject to all the vagaries of health that old age brings. Stays in hospital for a variety of reasons… home help visits…… alterations to the bathroom, and a ramp to the front door installed.
    But she was tough, even though memory and function failed her. She never played the martyr, which many infirm people are wont to do, understandably.

    Sometime she'd take a fall and a bump sufficient to require a stay in hospital. The last one was in the hall by the bathroom. She was hurt and stunned, and so the ambulance was called. The officers went through the procedures, and then came the moment when they checked her cognitive function.
    'Can you tell me your name, love?'
    And she looked at me for some sort of prompt, because she had no idea at all. She was frightened and confused. And i couldn't help her, of course. I had to stay quiet.

    And forgive me, but I'm just about crying as I write this now, but it was one of the worst moments of my life… broke my heart
    Last edited by DiddlerDave; 21-4-17 at 12:10.
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  27. #27  
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    Quote Originally Posted by kas74 View Post
    I'm off to see my father later today,he no longer has a clue who I am.
    Sad to hear this Kas.

    How old is he?
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiddlerDave View Post
    I'm closer to this part of life than many LFC posters in here. Years ago, my wife and I saw all four of our parents go through various stages of dementia, before they passed away… some were mild and some were quite severe.

    My wife's mother at various times denied that she any children at all (my wife has three sisters) for example… and she thought that my wife was actually her own long-deceased sister.
    She would forget entirely how clothes were to be put on, what shoes were for, and so on.

    But there can be unintentional laughs, too.
    On one occasion, I was taking my mother-in-law to the hospital. She was using a walker at this time. It was quite an unusual model and colour, so when my wife said 'oh look, mum… there's a lady with your walker,' as we drove along, a confused and worried voice came from the back seat...
    'Oh... I thought Dave put it in the boot.'

    It's painful to witness a once sharp mind deteriorating…
    My own mother lived with us for some years after Dad passed away. She was ailing and subject to all the vagaries of health that old age brings. Stays in hospital for a variety of reasons… home help visits…… alterations to the bathroom, and a ramp to the front door installed.
    But she was tough, even though memory and function failed her. She never played the martyr, which many infirm people are wont to do, understandably.

    Sometime she'd take a fall and a bump sufficient to require a stay in hospital. The last one was in the hall by the bathroom. She was hurt and stunned, and so the ambulance was called. The officers went through the procedures, and then came the moment when they checked her cognitive function.
    'Can you tell me your name, love?'
    And she looked at me for some sort of prompt, because she had no idea at all. She was frightened and confused. And i couldn't help her, of course. I had to stay quiet.

    And forgive me, but I'm just about crying as I write this now, but it was one of the worst moments of my life… broke my heart
    For what...
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  29. #29  
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    Quote Originally Posted by kas74 View Post
    I think there are drugs available now that can help with the symptoms but my father's autistic so his dementia was difficult to spot and his diagnosis came too late for medication to be of any use.
    The preventative measures thing is a difficult one;as with most serious illnesses the 'experts' keep changing their minds about what does and doesn't help.
    Aye and I think the big issue there kas is researchers revealing their findings far too early and those findings not being thorough enough, hence the contradictory information.

    Quote Originally Posted by DiddlerDave View Post
    I'm closer to this part of life than many LFC posters in here. Years ago, my wife and I saw all four of our parents go through various stages of dementia, before they passed away… some were mild and some were quite severe.

    My wife's mother at various times denied that she any children at all (my wife has three sisters) for example… and she thought that my wife was actually her own long-deceased sister.
    She would forget entirely how clothes were to be put on, what shoes were for, and so on.

    But there can be unintentional laughs, too.
    On one occasion, I was taking my mother-in-law to the hospital. She was using a walker at this time. It was quite an unusual model and colour, so when my wife said 'oh look, mum… there's a lady with your walker,' as we drove along, a confused and worried voice came from the back seat...
    'Oh... I thought Dave put it in the boot.'

    It's painful to witness a once sharp mind deteriorating…
    My own mother lived with us for some years after Dad passed away. She was ailing and subject to all the vagaries of health that old age brings. Stays in hospital for a variety of reasons… home help visits…… alterations to the bathroom, and a ramp to the front door installed.
    But she was tough, even though memory and function failed her. She never played the martyr, which many infirm people are wont to do, understandably.

    Sometime she'd take a fall and a bump sufficient to require a stay in hospital. The last one was in the hall by the bathroom. She was hurt and stunned, and so the ambulance was called. The officers went through the procedures, and then came the moment when they checked her cognitive function.
    'Can you tell me your name, love?'
    And she looked at me for some sort of prompt, because she had no idea at all. She was frightened and confused. And i couldn't help her, of course. I had to stay quiet.

    And forgive me, but I'm just about crying as I write this now, but it was one of the worst moments of my life… broke my heart
    Dave this was incredibly touching to read, really was and no easy thing to put into words.

    Life can be so cruel and entirely unfair at times, never more so in those moments.

    I struggle with my parents, I worry so much about them and seeing some of the major difficulties they are experiencing is hard enough but the one big relief I have is they are not suffering with dementia at this stage. Had a fear over my father, cognitively is struggling at times but he has a good grasp of things still.

    Anyways, just as with kas and her current trials, its a terrible thing to go through for everyone concerned
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  30. #30  
    kas74 is online now First team regular
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiddlerDave View Post
    I'm closer to this part of life than many LFC posters in here. Years ago, my wife and I saw all four of our parents go through various stages of dementia, before they passed away… some were mild and some were quite severe.

    My wife's mother at various times denied that she any children at all (my wife has three sisters) for example… and she thought that my wife was actually her own long-deceased sister.
    She would forget entirely how clothes were to be put on, what shoes were for, and so on.

    But there can be unintentional laughs, too.
    On one occasion, I was taking my mother-in-law to the hospital. She was using a walker at this time. It was quite an unusual model and colour, so when my wife said 'oh look, mum… there's a lady with your walker,' as we drove along, a confused and worried voice came from the back seat...
    'Oh... I thought Dave put it in the boot.'

    It's painful to witness a once sharp mind deteriorating…
    My own mother lived with us for some years after Dad passed away. She was ailing and subject to all the vagaries of health that old age brings. Stays in hospital for a variety of reasons… home help visits…… alterations to the bathroom, and a ramp to the front door installed.
    But she was tough, even though memory and function failed her. She never played the martyr, which many infirm people are wont to do, understandably.

    Sometime she'd take a fall and a bump sufficient to require a stay in hospital. The last one was in the hall by the bathroom. She was hurt and stunned, and so the ambulance was called. The officers went through the procedures, and then came the moment when they checked her cognitive function.
    'Can you tell me your name, love?'
    And she looked at me for some sort of prompt, because she had no idea at all. She was frightened and confused. And i couldn't help her, of course. I had to stay quiet.

    And forgive me, but I'm just about crying as I write this now, but it was one of the worst moments of my life… broke my heart
    It's horrible but yes,there have been plenty of giggles along the way.
    When I took him to the doctor for a memory test the interview turned into a Two Ronnies sketch.
    "Do you know what year it is"? No response.
    "What's your name"? 1968.

    And so on........
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