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Thread: Depression and its effects, a discussion thread

  1. #1501  
    MiraclesArePossible is online now Boot Room insider
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mysteron View Post
    I didn't enjoy the thought of medication, but it did help and I did find someone to talk to and trust, which helped
    Took me 5 years to get things sorted to come off medication....
    That was 3 years ago if the timeline helps.....
    Thanks for the advice mate, I will look into it
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    Quote Originally Posted by aylesbyred View Post
    The challenge is how to stay mentally well when things are looking up as you say, when things are going well that for me is where the absolute confusion is for me when I feel inexplicable dark clouds.

    From experience medication definitely helped me last year; although a year on I'm still on them gripped with some kind of fear that the whole thing will fall over if I stop. That said i started a different medication for anxiety in 2001; the day after we won the treble in fact.

    I'd think carefully about medication, I sometimes think doctors are so full to capacity with people falling over then can, not always, just prescribe for prescribings sake and the review process to get people off is less than adequate.

    Everyone's take and experience is different

    Stay well my friend
    Yeah I think it's important I see a professional and ask them what their medical opinion is on what I actually need. I get the feeling a lot of people go to the doctors with the sole intention of being prescribed something - leaving a doctor's office without a course of treatment often makes people feel short changed, but sometimes that's genuinely the right thing to do. In that sense I'm happy just to let them make the decision for me. I was in fact told by a counsellor about two years ago that I should go and see a doctor, but I've never been able to summon the courage to do so. Perhaps now might be the time.

    Really appreciate you looking out for me mate - especially after all the crap I've talked about your footballing knowledge! All the best to you as well my friend
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    Quote Originally Posted by redhoops View Post
    You always seem positive and sure in yourself . Don't go seeking validation on here .

    Here can be seen as a worthless place to judge a person. It's an online forum ffs.

    But you continually come over as a proper person. For what that's worth .
    Yeah I've been told many things about the way I come across on internet forums, not all of them positive! I do come across as very persistent and self-assured, I do realise, but in real life I'd say I'm actually very different from that persona. I'm not really looking for validation as such, I just enjoy this place sometimes as a good sounding board, especially given the amount of really great people who post on here. And I will take that final compliment and run with it, thank you very much
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    Quote Originally Posted by PHIL. View Post
    MAP is a top, top poster on here for sure.

    Really nice guy, and someone I take the time to look for on here.
    You're far too kind mate! Don't worry, I'm alright, thankfully my depression is quite low-level so it doesn't really put me in any danger, just rather gets in the way at inconvenient times. But thankfully a few things beyond that seem to be going alright so I think I'll be fine, I just need to get my head straight. Appreciate you looking out for me mate, really do. Everyone in this thread has been an absolute class act, down to the very last.
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    Quote Originally Posted by MiraclesArePossible View Post
    Thanks for the advice mate, I will look into it
    Even had a go at counselling and I hate them - interfering do gooders with no sense of purpose, as I said it helped, someone with no vested interest, a sound board....
    The right way - gotta talk about it mate - the wrong way is stewing and pills and drinks and not having control.....
    You keep it contained in the mind - the mind will do a number on you - out in the open, you are in charge, not held to ransom....

    All the best mate - hope you find the answer that best suits you.....
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    Loving the MAP love in
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    Quote Originally Posted by Liverpoolforme View Post
    Exactly...I feel like she is not interested in anything I tell her anymore...

    I think she is trying to push me away because it is easier, because if she broke up with me she would feel guilty about how I would deal with it. But if she pushes me to break up with her she might feel better about it cause it was my choice.

    She actually broke up with me before about a year ago, said it was for the best as she was bad for me and she is no good etc. But then about a an hour later she text me saying how sorry she was and how sad it made her she would not be with me anymore and she cried all that time...and said she understood if I did not want to take her back...she said she wants to get better and improve and be with me and ultimetley she does want to be happy.

    But obviously it only seems to have gotten worse.
    I feel for you man I do. It's not a nice situation and I can sympathise because I've been there.

    Why do you have a long distance relationship if you don't mind me asking, did you used to live in the same place then one of you moved or has it always been long distance? I don't really know how they work but I can't imagine their easy.
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    Liverpoolforme is online now First team regular
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    Quote Originally Posted by -Chris- View Post
    I feel for you man I do. It's not a nice situation and I can sympathise because I've been there.

    Why do you have a long distance relationship if you don't mind me asking, did you used to live in the same place then one of you moved or has it always been long distance? I don't really know how they work but I can't imagine their easy.
    We met at PGL (activity centre) it is a live in job. So we spent a season and a half together there...with visits inbetween...so we have effectively lived together for a year..
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    Quote Originally Posted by redhoops View Post
    Loving the MAP love in
    I'm just happy nobody is calling him MAPS!
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    Quote Originally Posted by MiraclesArePossible View Post
    Yeah I think it's important I see a professional and ask them what their medical opinion is on what I actually need. I get the feeling a lot of people go to the doctors with the sole intention of being prescribed something - leaving a doctor's office without a course of treatment often makes people feel short changed, but sometimes that's genuinely the right thing to do. In that sense I'm happy just to let them make the decision for me. I was in fact told by a counsellor about two years ago that I should go and see a doctor, but I've never been able to summon the courage to do so. Perhaps now might be the time.

    Really appreciate you looking out for me mate - especially after all the crap I've talked about your footballing knowledge! All the best to you as well my friend
    What football knowledge lol

    I think you're right, the doctor is often the first port of call perhaps to get signed off in the first instance, counselling is frustrating in that it often takes so long to get in and with the dark clouds already there it's never quick enough in my experience.

    Depending on where you are at I would always say doctors and counselling are good if they run along side each other, that said that's just my experience - I uncovered a myriad of issues when I went to a counseller and a doctor guided me on switching medication at the same time.

    The thing that helped me most was lots of time and lots of love and it sounds like from your post you've got a soulmate to stand along side you.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Liverpoolforme View Post
    We met at PGL (activity centre) it is a live in job. So we spent a season and a half together there...with visits inbetween...so we have effectively lived together for a year..
    Ahh I see, have you spoken to her today?
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    Quote Originally Posted by PHIL. View Post
    I'm just happy nobody is calling him MAPS!
    Or SPAM
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    Quote Originally Posted by -Chris- View Post
    Ahh I see, have you spoken to her today?
    Naa gonna leave her alone this weekend..
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    ONDEFENCE is online now First team regular
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    Big LUV and respect to all reds YNWA
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    Not really liking the upcoming easter weekend, people are out and about, enjoying themselves, while I am sat here at home as usual, looking after my miserable old grandad.

    I find it really hard to remain positive when I am getting moaned at and put down 24/7, sometimes I really wonder why I bother to stay here and take care of him..

    Thankfully I have a holiday booked next month and I am looking forward to getting away from it, even if it is just a for a fortnight.
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrDilkington View Post
    Not really liking the upcoming easter weekend, people are out and about, enjoying themselves, while I am sat here at home as usual, looking after my miserable old grandad.

    I find it really hard to remain positive when I am getting moaned at and put down 24/7, sometimes I really wonder why I bother to stay here and take care of him..

    Thankfully I have a holiday booked next month and I am looking forward to getting away from it, even if it is just a for a fortnight.
    Don't you have anyone to share the burden with you mate ?

    Are you able to take him out so you can have some fun yourself ?

    The good thing is you have something booked to look forward to.

    How old is he, does have an illness ?
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    Quote Originally Posted by aylesbyred View Post
    Don't you have anyone to share the burden with you mate ?

    Are you able to take him out so you can have some fun yourself ?

    The good thing is you have something booked to look forward to.

    How old is he, does have an illness ?
    He is 90 and cant really walk, he can move about just enough to take care of himself around the house, he does not get out much at all, he refuses to let me take him out in the wheelchair, he will not let me buy him one of those electric things either, all he seems to do is moan nowadays.

    Thankfully my mum and my aunt come and take him out a couple of times a week, as much as they can, but the rest of the time hes a bit of a pain, hes a bit like alf garnett without the racism, always has to make his opinions known, no matter how offensive and ridiculous they sound, he can be quite upsetting to me without realising it.

    I have social phobia and I have been pretty depressed for the past ten or so years since I split up with my ex and my gran died at the same time, I have spent that time sat in my house for the most part.

    I only really started to get out socially again last year, I was toying with the idea of moving out but I could not bare the thought of him going into a home, I know how much he would hate it you see, it was my docs idea to go on holiday and take a break, I am really looking forward to a break now.
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrDilkington View Post
    He is 90 and cant really walk, he can move about just enough to take care of himself around the house, he does not get out much at all, he refuses to let me take him out in the wheelchair, he will not let me buy him one of those electric things either, all he seems to do is moan nowadays.

    Thankfully my mum and my aunt come and take him out a couple of times a week, as much as they can, but the rest of the time hes a bit of a pain, hes a bit like alf garnett without the racism, always has to make his opinions known, no matter how offensive and ridiculous they sound, he can be quite upsetting to me without realising it.

    I have social phobia and I have been pretty depressed for the past ten or so years since I split up with my ex and my gran died at the same time, I have spent that time sat in my house for the most part.

    I only really started to get out socially again last year, I was toying with the idea of moving out but I could not bare the thought of him going into a home, I know how much he would hate it you see, it was my docs idea to go on holiday and take a break, I am really looking forward to a break now.
    I suppose on the one hand it must be very frustrating for him and difficult, and the other you have to balance looking after him and also looking after you too. You're not a slave and you are entitled to be happy too, I think you really great for doing what you do I'm not entirely sure I could.

    It's good you have something to look forward to, lots of people told me to try and get something planned even if really small just to have something on the horizon to look forward too.

    It's sounds like you've had a rough time albeit I get wanting to be alone and perhaps being lonely at the same time, I wanted to both hide and be held at the same time.

    Enjoy your well earned break my friend
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    A short post for Easter.

    A time for gathering and family and friendship.

    Not everyone is fortunate to have that which many take for granted.

    Keep well fellow Reds

    YNWA
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    Quote Originally Posted by aylesbyred View Post
    A short post for Easter.

    A time for gathering and family and friendship.

    Not everyone is fortunate to have that which many take for granted.

    Keep well fellow Reds

    YNWA
    Cheers, Ayles.

    The very best to you and yours, and all our Red Fellows.
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    Quote Originally Posted by aylesbyred View Post
    A short post for Easter.

    A time for gathering and family and friendship.

    Not everyone is fortunate to have that which many take for granted.

    Keep well fellow Reds

    YNWA
    bump
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    Quote Originally Posted by aylesbyred View Post
    I suppose on the one hand it must be very frustrating for him and difficult, and the other you have to balance looking after him and also looking after you too. You're not a slave and you are entitled to be happy too, I think you really great for doing what you do I'm not entirely sure I could.

    It's good you have something to look forward to, lots of people told me to try and get something planned even if really small just to have something on the horizon to look forward too.

    It's sounds like you've had a rough time albeit I get wanting to be alone and perhaps being lonely at the same time, I wanted to both hide and be held at the same time.

    Enjoy your well earned break my friend
    Yea I was a lonely angry man for a very long time, I was diagnosed bipolar B and probably on the spectrum somewhere, but i have not seen the psych for a while now, I stopped smoking weed and sulking, I do not take anything at all now, no meds from the docs either, I finally feel like I am getting somewhere.

    I always felt like It was my duty to look after him, he always did everything he could for me and I was always very close to my grandparents.
    I might sound harsh, but he has already lived his life, been married had kids, the older I get, the more I feel entitled to live my life before its over, I dont want to die a lonely old man with nothing going for me.

    As you say I have to look after myself as well, that is something I never really did since my gran died, my ex left and I started feeling sorry for myself !

    Anyway cheers and happy Easter to you man, and everyone else !
    Lets hope the sun comes out a bit !
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrDilkington View Post
    Yea I was a lonely angry man for a very long time, I was diagnosed bipolar B and probably on the spectrum somewhere, but i have not seen the psych for a while now, I stopped smoking weed and sulking, I do not take anything at all now, no meds from the docs either, I finally feel like I am getting somewhere.

    I always felt like It was my duty to look after him, he always did everything he could for me and I was always very close to my grandparents.
    I might sound harsh, but he has already lived his life, been married had kids, the older I get, the more I feel entitled to live my life before its over, I dont want to die a lonely old man with nothing going for me.

    As you say I have to look after myself as well, that is something I never really did since my gran died, my ex left and I started feeling sorry for myself !

    Anyway cheers and happy Easter to you man, and everyone else !
    Lets hope the sun comes out a bit !
    It's a great thing you do and you are 100% correct you are entitled to live your life.

    It's good you're off the mind altering stuff too - that never helps anything really

    Keep well mate
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    Bump.
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    Quote Originally Posted by grenny158 View Post
    Bump.
    Strange mate, strange, I was just about to post..

    I had a diagnosis today after I showed up on the ASD scale in some stuff I was doing with my counsellor as far back as 2015, I've had to wait for an assessment for ages because I'm an adult. Anyway today I finally had it confirmed for 40 odd years I've lived with Aspergers without even knowing it. It's not serious, and it's not something I need to look any further at but it's just like closure on a massive parts of my life I never understood - I knew they were there but could never have them explained.

    Ultimately this explains my inability to cope with the massive changes in my job role in 2015 that eventually sent me over... been a massive day for me today

    I'm a rich man today
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    Quote Originally Posted by aylesbyred View Post
    Strange mate, strange, I was just about to post..

    I had a diagnosis today after I showed up on the ASD scale in some stuff I was doing with my counsellor as far back as 2015, I've had to wait for an assessment for ages because I'm an adult. Anyway today I finally had it confirmed for 40 odd years I've lived with Aspergers without even knowing it. It's not serious, and it's not something I need to look any further at but it's just like closure on a massive parts of my life I never understood - I knew they were there but could never have them explained.

    Ultimately this explains my inability to cope with the massive changes in my job role in 2015 that eventually sent me over... been a massive day for me today

    I'm a rich man today
    Having clarity is one hell of a feeling mate. I hope you and your family benefit from this and I'm happy to hear you feel relieved, that's a long time to not understand a lot of things. All the best Ayles.
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheKnucklesOfAgger View Post
    Having clarity is one hell of a feeling mate. I hope you and your family benefit from this and I'm happy to hear you feel relieved, that's a long time to not understand a lot of things. All the best Ayles.
    Cheers my mate, appreciate the thought as always
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    Was not aware of this thread until a few minutes ago. I hope some members can get a little solice from reading some posts. Mental illness is such a hidden element of health needs. I have lost my brother and nearly my son in law. My daughter is in a very high position in one of the big health insurance companies. She reports that mental health issues are furthest from th companies mind in provision for clients, in fact they are more interested in providing cover for trans gender operations. Whilst I can accept there may ve a case for this they all put mental health back in the dark. We all know the NHS needs major attention in many ways and nobody can deny that mental health care has been cut drastically. We need a strong body to get to grips and give people hope for a better health service.
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    Depression can be triggered by events, but it then often lingers despite the event diminishing in importance over time. The inability to cope with stress and the feeling of hopelessness are characteristics of the disease that I have personally experienced. Those who have not experienced depression are very fortunate.
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    Quote Originally Posted by aylesbyred View Post
    Strange mate, strange, I was just about to post..

    I had a diagnosis today after I showed up on the ASD scale in some stuff I was doing with my counsellor as far back as 2015, I've had to wait for an assessment for ages because I'm an adult. Anyway today I finally had it confirmed for 40 odd years I've lived with Aspergers without even knowing it. It's not serious, and it's not something I need to look any further at but it's just like closure on a massive parts of my life I never understood - I knew they were there but could never have them explained.

    Ultimately this explains my inability to cope with the massive changes in my job role in 2015 that eventually sent me over... been a massive day for me today

    I'm a rich man today
    Really chuffed for you, Ayles! No question that the old saying 'the truth shall set you free' applies here.

    I have taken a lot of interest in Autism spectrum conditions because - as I have detailed before in a number of posts in this thread - my son was diagnosed early in life as having low grade Aspergers. As you say, Ayles, Aspergers is not a serious condition, although if it remains undiagnosed (as in your case), it certainly will result in a lot of confusion for the sufferer which in turn can lead to deficits in other areas of a persons life.

    It always amazes me how many TV series portray characters with Aspergers (House calls / Boston Legal / Big Bang Theory and others) .. my take on this is that is it because they are such interesting people who display tendencies like OCD and other related conditions, which can make for compelling viewing on TV.

    Do you have any of the OCD type tendencies, Ayles?
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